#also if anyone still uses that nightmare app and wants to follow me there let me know

[just-a-dodo]

I think I'll have to keep using Twitter, because since the majority of my income is from commissions, exposure is important

[crowchemicals]

Things i think Lucifer would do while you're dating

♥︎fluffy fluff all over, sfw

✧ i don't think there's any warnings i should put here other than me projecting onto my favourite babygirl. and very soft Luci 🙏 (my personal religion)

☆ these are purely some scenarios i like to think about often in my lil fantasy world in my head, (and yes this is still and art account i don't write much<33)

• He keeps a list of things you like so he can get them for you. He's very observant, especially when it comes to his beloved, so if he sees something catch your eye while on an outing or you've liked/shared an item on your story/ saved something pretty to pinterest (which he follows but won't admit it. it's not like he really uses the app for anything other than gift ideas for you anyway) he will keep it in mind and write it down in his notes app when you're not looking/there.

• He brings you flowers every week. He learns flower language so he can give you the most meaningful bouquets he can. When they start wilting he immediately replaces them with fresh ones, but he doesn't throw the bouquets away, he proudly displays them in vases around his study.

• You mentioned your favorite snack/sweets (that you can't find in the devildom) once in a conversation with Asmo that he overheard and since then he periodically goes up to the human world to stock up on them so you can have a treat whenever you like :)

• He asks you to do his nails one time as an excuse to get away from paperwork for a little bit and spend some time with you, and you both started gossiping and just talking about RAD, his brothers, etc, and this has since become a routine between you two, one day a week either in his room or yours you get together to sit on the floor while you do his nails and gossip

• he has awful night terrors and has no idea how to cope with them, of course he can't go telling anyone about them that would be embarrassing but he also doesn't want to worry anybody. he's the big brother he's not supposed to show any weaknesses so that his brothers have someone to rely on (shhh I'm projecting) so he distracts himself with work and music, he's lost too much sleep over these kind of nights. One night after you two had been dating for a while though he woke up in a cold sweat and while his first instinct was to go to your room there was something stopping him. So he turned to distracting himself again this time by putting on your favourite show/movie. And he continues doing this every time he has a nightmare until he feels comfortable sharing such vulnerability with you. He finds it oddly comforting even if it's a genre he wouldn't typically enjoy, remembering you talking so fondly about it gives it a different kind of vibe, sometimes depending on how exhausted he is or how bad the night terror was he'll fall asleep with it in the background.

• Takes interest in your hobbies and makes sure you never run out of supplies and new things to try out. And if he sees you eyeing anything relating to your craft or a game or ANYTHING REALLY you'll have it the next day

• Will ask you to come do your work/chill in his study while he's working as a way to spend time together, in the beginning he says it's bc you'll be able to focus better since no one will disturb you there and there's less noise but later he realises that your presence helps him be more productive so when he feels his motivation and focus slip he'll come into your room to do the rest of his paperwork next to you or if you're sleeping in his bedroom that night he'll come work at his desk there, as long as he can be near you he has a reason to finish his work faster.

• Lucifer being an exhausted older sister™️, never really gets to let his guard down so when he trusts you enough he'll finally let his mask slip and give up control for a moment (something all of us wish we could do tbh). someone go bigspoon this man he needs it.

• ^ so he likes to walk up to your/his bed after a long day and just plop on top of you in his pjs and demon form, he knows he's heavy, he knows you were reading but tbh he doesn't care he needs to be held right this instant. bonus points for you if play with his wings, scratch his head esp near the horns or rub his back. you're never getting rid of him now.

• he's so interested by everything you tell him, you wanna explain the plot of a new book in excruciating detail? tell him all the hot gossip you've been hearing from your friends at RAD/Asmo? Make him watch a 10 season long show while explaining every minor thing? go ahead, he will literally give you his full attention if he's not swarmed with paperwork. he'll remember 99.9% of what you tell him too.

[herbgerblin]

Hi Herb!! I was wondering if you had any advice on opening commissions? I enjoy your art immensely and you were one of the first people I thought of to ask since I know you do commissions on occasion

Sorry if this is totally weird, I am just at a complete loss! Thanks for taking the time to read this!

These are things I wish I had figured out when I started selling art commissions. Also, feel free to use my current commission form to pattern your own. (also if anyone >.> wants to commission me, I am open <.<)

Step 1: Write a Terms of Service

Good terms of service will manage the expectations of your clients, establish a level of professionalism, and protect you if someone tries to argue something already made clear in writing. You can keep your ToS really simple, but it's good practice to include the following:

What kind of art you will/won't do (I don't do nfts)

Estimated duration of the project (2-4 weeks is my M.O.)

Number of revisions (more than 3, I add a fee)

When and how often you will update the client

Rights that you retain as an artist/permit to the client

Note: This mainly applies to personal/non-commercial work. If you are approached to make art for a game/magazine/website, do a ton more research. You will need to write out a contract that makes things Boringly Clear, and you will want to retain all of your rights as an artist.

Step 2: PRICES (scream)

Everyone starts out underselling. I'm underselling (I'm trying to get better.) Just go at your own pace. Look at what other artists are offering, but don't just look at the quality of their work. Think about your turnaround time, your style, and your target audience. If you are a fast worker or very detailed, that's worth a pay bump. Niche communities will pay solid money for artists to cater to them. So for example, if you draw fetish art, you have more room to charge higher.

ALWAYS GET PAYMENT UP FRONT. You can offer half upfront and half upon completion. If it's a big or long-term project, it's okay to go 30/70. BUT NEVER START WORK WITHOUT SOME SORT OF COMPENSATION. I just had a client that has not paid me the 2nd half and they are blacklisted. This rarely happens but it does happen.

Once you think you've got a price chart you feel comfortable with, add $20. Do it, even if it feels wrong. You may have to pay transaction fees, or the work (often) takes longer than expected. It'll be a small mercy to yourself to account for these things. Raise your prices a little bit each year because you are growing in experience and inflation (scream) is a thing that affects the arts too.

Step 3: INTEGRATE AND AUTOMATE

I wish I had done this step years ago, but I slacked off, and therefore staying organized was a nightmare. The less "business" stuff you have to do manually, the more time you can focus on "creative" stuff.

Make a google form. Make it as easy for the client to input information as possible. In the settings, set it so that responses will go to an excel file. The questions you ask will be the titles of the fields, so keep them short and easy to read. Reference image attachments will save to google drive.

You can set it up so that you will get an email whenever you get a new response (you might want to make a separate email account specifically for commissions.) Prewrite confirmation responses and save them as templates so that you're not writing the same email to clients over and over again.

Set reminders for responding to clients, requesting payment, and finishing work. This can be through google calender or some other app. You are responsible for facilitating communication. Even if the email is just, "Hey, just letting you know the work is still in progress, I will send you a wip in 1-2 days." Client assurance is high priority.

I use paypal invoice for payments. It means I have to pay a transaction fee, but I factor that into my prices. It also ensures that I have clear documentation for orders, I can send reminders easily if I haven't been paid, and it just looks more professional overall. You can use whatever service feels most comfortable, just make sure you practice good bookkeeping (*stares at my taxes in horror*)

Step 4: Mockups and Descriptions

Provide examples of the work that you are going to. Make a mockup of busts/half body/full body, etc. Don't include anything you don't intend to actually produce.

Make sure that your form includes room to answer EVERY question about the commission that you might have. This will reduce the amount of back and forth you need to have with your client. You want to be able to get that request, confirm it, send that invoice, and jump on it ASAP.

Step 5: Start small, be honest, be firm

If you haven't done commissions before, have a limited number of slots available. Take break time after you've finished a certain amount. Don't languish over an art piece. At some point, it will be as done as it can be. Send it to the client, and keep rolling.

If you feel like you are getting overwhelmed, tell your client. It's bad practice to go on hiatus and not notify them while they're waiting on an update. If you genuinely forget to touch base with them, do so as soon as possible. Apologize, then finish the work as soon as you can. Refund if you think that's the most polite route, but completing the task is usually more appreciated.

Be cordial, but firm. People will try to bully you over little things, but don't give in. Ignore folks who say your prices are too high. Make it clear that if they ask for more than what is agreed, you will charge a fee. If you feel like a request is sketchy, get a second opinion.

obligatory paypal link: help me pay kravitz jr's vet bills

[purplesurveys]

1916

Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?by ausmuh

01. What would you say your favorite day in history is, or a day you find interesting? If you could, would you travel back in time to experience or witness it? Rizal's execution, I guess? It was taught to death in schools (rightfully so), so I guess I'm just naturally curious how that day went for the those who were alive at the time. Was the mood somber everywhere? What were my countrypeople feeling? Did they think all hope was lost for the Philippines by that point? What happened immediately after? things like that I can't help but think about.

02. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever had an obsession with? Do you still like that thing? I'm not ashamed of things I enjoyed at one point.

03. Describe the last movie you watched, but do not give its title. The next person who takes this survey must try to guess the film that the previous survey-taker watched. You may give hints, such as the actors and actresses that starred in the film, the director, the year the film was made, etc. Then the guesser has to describe the last movie they watched, and so on and so forth. David Dastmalchian is a struggling TV show host who pulls out all the arcane stops for a pivotal sweeps-week Halloween episode. Nightmare scenarios ensue. ^ Unfamiliar with the plot, but a quick Google search tells me this is likely to be Late Night with the Devil(?). Hahaha. Anyway, my last movie sees Nicolas Hoult being a mega-dick in a swanky fine dining dinner set curated by Voldemort. Things get hilariously weird, people die. Anya Taylor Joy orders the most delicious-looking cheeseburger.

04. If you could draw any place that you could be magically transported into, what would you draw? What would you do there? I'd draw a field that never ends where all my pets can run around freely. Kimi is there, and he's playing with Cooper, Agi, Miki, Max, and Arlee.

05. Do you have the LiveJournal app downloaded onto your phone? No, I don't use it.

06. Have you ever played any of the Animal Crossing games? Do you have the new game, or do you plan on buying it? Nope and nope.

07. Do you talk to anyone from Xanga or LiveJournal on anything other than those two websites? If so, who do you talk to and through what? No, but I also don't actively keep in touch with my mutuals here. It's cool enough for me that we're tracking our own lives on our feeds.

08. Has anyone ever showed up at your doorstep unexpectedly (besides people selling things and Jehovah's Witnesses)? If so, who was the last person to do so, and why were they there? It was just the roaming security guards letting us know there'll be a power outage the following day and to prepare accordingly, lol.

09. When was the last time you were nauseous? Do you know what caused the feeling of nausea? Like a month or two ago. I felt weak and pale the entire afternoon and evening – immediately felt better as soon as I threw up. Turned out to be food poisoning because I accidentally drank coffee with old milk.

10. Are you embarrassed when you make a grammatical error, whether it's in a paper for school, a survey, or a conversation? I'm very conscious about grammar and tbh never make mistakes. I always catch them immediately, especially when it's written/typed.

11. Describe the last outfit you saw that you really liked, or if you want, post a picture. That I wore? It was just this cute ensemble of a windbreaker + tube top + high waist jeans I wore a week ago when I watched Seventeen in the cinema. I felt like a college student again hehe.

12. What was the last late night show you watched? Do you regularly watch these types of shows? Who is your favorite late night TV host? No clue. I only watch them when BTS/a BTS member is on, lol.

13. What brand of earbuds / earphones do you own? Do you like them? I have Airpods, and yes I love them. My parents got them for me :)

14. Did you ever think you were going to get into a car crash? Did you or didn't you, and why did you think this? Were you the passenger or the driver? Yeah, there was one instance in college where I was going relatively fast and the car in front of me suddenly braked. I knew it was going to be bad for my car, but I braked with every power on my leg in an attempt to not hit it; I was successful, but it was still stupid close.

I was pretty shaken up, and once I parked I had to spend a few minutes in the car to absorb everything and Go Back To Earth.

15. What is the most annoying thing your friend does? Do you ever call them out on it? I don't find Angela annoying. We're pretty much at that point where we're set to be best friends and sisters for life. We haven't bickered since we were like 11.

16. Do you have a journal or diary that you write in on a daily or weekly basis? Did you used to keep one as a kid? Just this one. My sister and a co-worker also got me journals with writing prompts on them, but I've been absolutely horrible with updating them. I do so when I have the extra time.

17. For special occasions, do you make cards for others, or do you purchase them? I never send out cards.

18. Do you have difficulty swallowing pills? How often do you take them? Not usually, but they do freak me out still every time I need to take them because I'm always worried that it'd take me forever to push them down.

19. In your dreams, do you mostly see things through your own eyes, or do you see yourself through a third person view? Always through my own POV.

20. Can you remember the last time you saw a rainbow? June.

21. What month of this year has been the best for you so far? What was so nice or special about it? What about the worst month? I really liked June. We went to Vietnam and also got to throw a surprise party for my dad's parents.

Worst were undoubtedly April and August. Just a bunch of work that needed to be done, and I barely got a weekend out of them both.

22. Do you have a Vine account? Who are your favorite Vine users that you follow? You bet I had a Vine account, hahaha. I didn't have favorite users per se; I just had favorite Vines. My top fave will always be "...A child."

23. Have you ever tried poutine? (Have you ever even heard of it?) Never tried it, would LOVE to.

24. Do you have any plants or flowers in your house? What kinds? Do you like having plants in your home? My mom does, but I'm not familiar with any of them. I'm not a big fan of plants.

25. What was the last e-mail you sent in regard to? Removing any work-related stuff, last email was just about a BTS album I ordered and me thanking the shop after they updated me that my order was already arranged for shipping.

[soft-boi-eli]

Hello Hello!

I just wanted to say I love your fics!

ALSO!

Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!

Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-

ANYWAYS!!

The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)

They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!

You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-

ANYWAYS!

I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!

ALSO!

Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!

Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!

<3

Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.

And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!

Pronouns:nonbinary

Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.

SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.

*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.

When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.

Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.

Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.

If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.

Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.

You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.

Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.

Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.

In minecraft that is.

Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.

You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.

"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.

He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.

Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.

He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.

You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.

One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.

When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.

You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.

As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.

Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.

You woke to a loud knock.

When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.

You nearly jumped out of your skin.

You were stuck there blinking at them.

Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.

Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.

You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.

But you got use to it.

So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.

But after the second day you got use to it too.

For your birthday phil literally made a feast.

Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.

Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.

I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.

But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.

But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.

The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.

Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.

Pillow forts.

It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.

You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.

You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.

You bet an hour. Techno says all day.

You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.

He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.

"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza

You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.

"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.

You turn to techno.

"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.

Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.

Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.

Outlast.

You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.

So you decided fuck it.

That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.

When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.

They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.

But you sat up and looked at your computer.

"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.

"You need something?"-you

"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.

"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you

That day made highlights.

The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.

When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.

Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.

Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.

They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.

Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.

And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.

You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.

Even if they disagree with your eating habit.

Or energy drink addiction.

Or insomnia.

Or you mainly playing horror games.

Or you basically living in your streaming room.

Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.

I could go on but I'm not gonna.

I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.

And it took so long to finally get into it.

We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.

And then we had to get me into this program.

But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry

[sirthisisa-wendys]

hope i’m not too late, but congratulations on getting 500 followers! i adore everything you’ve written so far, keep up the good work!

can i request an exes au with geto x f!reader? not too angsty, but whether they get back together or not is up to you 👀

You said "not too angsty" but my mind said "HIT EM RIGHT IN THE FEELS" and I don't know wHyYyYyY

Please forgive me, but this... this is the epitome of my "ex of Geto" feelings. It literally flowed out of me in two hours.

"Yes, But...": Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

wc: 2k

tw: FLUFF AND A LIL' BIT OF ANGST

The large envelope slides from his hands to yours, and you look at the package in confusion as you open the flap.

“You want to get out of here and start fresh,” Geto begins, lacing his fingers together. You find a phone, two banking cards, and two passports inside, which is more than what you asked for. “You’ll need that.” When you open the phone, you see various apps loaded on the device - most of which are foreign to you. “Open the banking app.”

You do as your ex tells you, and see the collection of numbers (six digits) and the single comma that will change your life. You look up at the man in awe, trying to catch his black gaze as he looks outside, not speaking.

“Su, I just needed a new passport, not all of this.”

“It should put you in a good place for a few months until you get a good job. I have a friend in the States that should be able to put you up in a nice house, all paid for, of course. There’s a private school nearby so you don’t have to drive Haru there and back, just walk. And there are--”

“Suguru,” you stop him mid-sentence, placing your hand on the table to try and reach him. “We don’t need all of this. My parents are willing to--”

“I’m not sending you back to them, y/n. I want you to be independent of anyone else,” he retorts, nostrils flaring at the mention of your family. You know his frustration with your relatives comes from an honest place.

They had treated you savagely after you married into the Geto family, calling you all kinds of names and not even attending the birth of their first grandson. You weren’t sure if it was the ties to the underground that set them off or the fact that the Geto family had brought in a considerable amount of wealth and fame to your lives. Either way, you were cut off from them until you divorced Suguru due to--

“Our flight leaves at ten o’clock tomorrow,” you whisper, and Suguru shifts in his seat, sighing. “Will you come to see Haru before we go?” There’s a long pause as your ex-husband weighs his options, but you know his choice before he speaks.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he finally answers.

_____________________________________________________________

Tickets in hand, you try to keep your composure as you watch your son hold on to his father for the last time. Your other hand is captured in Suguru’s large palm, and he squeezes your fingers tenderly as you walk to the security checkpoint. While you walk, he talks to your son in gentle tones, telling him to write to him about all of the amazing things he sees and does, as well as the friends he makes, and how daddy still loves him no matter where he goes.

When he finally lets Haru down and places his Inosuke backpack around his shoulders, you turn to Geto, expecting him to say something final, something meaningful. But he doesn’t, opting to pull you into a deep embrace and kissing all over your face. “Please stay safe. Call when you make it in.”

“I will,” you whisper, inhaling the scent of his cologne and reliving your life together in a brief flash. “I promise.”

“I love you, y/n.” You want to reply that you love him, too, that the separation wasn’t his fault - but you just nod. The feeling of tiny arms around your legs makes you look down, and you both see Haru wrapping himself around your legs, holding you two together earnestly. When he lets go, Suguru lets go, and you hoist the toddler into your arms.

“Say ‘see you later,” you tell the child and he slowly waves his hand at Suguru as you walk past the agent at the checkpoint. Haru doesn’t stop waving until he can no longer see Geto, and he also waves until he can no longer see you, finally dropping his hand to his side and wondering why he felt so empty.

_____________________________________________________________

“Today we learned about the rainbow,” Haru sings as he skips with you down the sidewalk.

“Oh, yeah?” you laugh, holding his hand as he swings back and forth.

“And we played in the dirt.” That explains the messy pants, you muse, rounding the corner to the back of your home and unlocking the fence before letting Haru run up the back porch and inside the house.

You lock the fence behind you and follow your son inside, thinking of all the things you had to do before his sixth birthday party the next day. Suguru said he would be sending a surprise - you begged him not to send the fake nichirin sword you already purchased and stowed away - so you’d have to accommodate for whatever he sent your way, which was bound to be lavish.

Among other things that he provided (a house, a car, preschool, an on-call babysitter if you wanted to go out, a nain rug you looked at once and said you liked but you weren’t sure about), Suguru also spoke to Haru every evening, which made you feel at ease. He hadn’t ceased to be in Haru’s life after you divorced, so this wasn’t out of the blue. Co-parenting with him was still easy and somewhat effortless, even thousands of miles away.

You’re still lost in thought when the doorbell rings, and Haru leaps down the stairs to answer it, despite telling him not to do that time and time again. Quickly, you sidestep the boy and open the door, forgetting to check the peephole first. If you had, it might have prevented the massive shock both you and Haru have at the sight of Suguru standing in the entryway.

“Suguru…” you whisper, and Haru immediately goes to hug his father, squeezing him tightly.

“Oh, look at you,” Suguru groans, leaning down to pick up his son. “You’ve gotten bigger since I last saw you, huh?”

“I’m two inches taller!” You shake your head at the toddler’s estimation, smiling, but still in shock. Your eyes roam over the man’s appearance. He looks just as you left him, with long hair and that gaze that could see into the deepest parts of your soul. It’s been a year, but nothing’s changed at all.

“Come on in,” you urge him, and he carries Haru inside, setting him down in the foyer. Haru dashes up the stairs to retrieve something, and you walk into the kitchen, Geto following you around and looking over his surroundings.

“It looks beautiful in here,” he murmurs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “You’ve really outdone yourself.”

“You should see upstairs,” you reply. “That’s your son’s domain.” Suguru chuckles, then places his hands on the counter behind him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I wanted to surprise both of you,” he shrugs and you sigh.

“There’s no guest bedroom.”

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” he replies, and your first instinct is to balk at his suggestion and offer your bed. But you know Suguru’s considered his options already and would have gotten a hotel if he wanted to.

“Are your things--”

“In the car. I wanted to see if I was welcome first before I barged in with my stuff.” Haru reappears, holding up his drawing from school today.

“I drew this today! They told us to draw something we love,” your child smiles widely, showing his lack of a right front tooth. You peer over at the picture and see you - with a questionable hairstyle - Haru, and Geto holding hands in front of what you assume to be your house, and a grey… horse? cat? dog? off to the side. “And we have a cat. I named him Gojo after daddy’s friend.”

_____________________________________________________________

You hand Geto a pile of blankets and a pillow, hoping it would be enough to keep him warm on the couch. “You can turn the heat up downstairs if you need to,” you advise, and he nods, taking the offerings. He pauses in your bedroom, wanting to say something.

“Thank you,” he finally whispers, then walks away, leaving you in the room to contemplate your still brooding feelings for the man who walked into your home less than six hours ago.

“Wait,” you call out softly, and he returns, searching your face. “Did you get me that job at the museum?” you wonder, crossing your arms over your chest. “The head of the museum told me I came highly recommended for the Director of Curation position.”

“And if I did?” he wonders, angling his head to the left a little and frowning. You recognize his tell immediately and nod, biting the inside of your lip. “I promised to provide for you and Haru for as long as I’m alive. I’m not going to break that promise.”

Those words stay with you as you toss and turn in the bed hours later, trying to sleep. You’re failing miserably, you realize when you look at the clock, and you rise out of bed, padding downstairs to get some tea and calm down. You tiptoe past the hallway to the living room, hoping you wouldn’t wake Suguru as you heat up a cup of water.

You’ve almost succeeded in your mission when you hear a yawn and the familiar cracking of toes and ankles as Suguru walks into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

“Can’t sleep,” you explain and he nods, pulling a chamomile tea packet from the caddy by the cabinets. He rips open the packet and hands it to you, leaning against the counter as you dunk it in the cup and watch the color seep out.

“I still remember,” Suguru whispers, recalling the nights you spent awake while you were pregnant with Haru and how the tea was the only thing that could soothe you enough to sleep. He thumbs over to the living room and you follow, settling into the couch beside him. “Nightmares? Or just insomnia?”

“Insomnia,” you reply, and he motions for you to place your feet in his lap. He begins rubbing them methodically, taking his time on the soles as you lean into the arm of the couch and sigh.

“Remember when we used to watch Jeopardy before bed and you’d fall asleep mid-answer?” he chuckles, and you shake your head, a smile pulling at your lips.

“Those were some hard nights,” you reply, and he hums thoughtfully.

“I wonder where it all went wrong.”

You both knew where it went wrong. There was no privacy, no semblance of peace, nowhere you two could go without someone knowing everything and being in your business. And adding Haru to the mix made everything worse. The breaking point came when you were playing with him in the backyard and heard the sound of a shutter capturing your every move. Suguru broke the camera and the man’s arm, but the damage had been done. The only way you could escape the limelight was divorcing him and his name, then escaping somewhere where no one cared who you were or who you used to be. Here, you were just… y/n.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the wife you wanted,” you whisper, and Suguru shakes his head.

“No, you were - are - the wife I want. I didn’t protect you enough. I should be the one apologizing.”

“Don’t,” you urge him, setting the un-sipped tea on the coffee table. “Don’t apologize.”

“Then I won’t,” he replies, pulling you closer. “But I have to confess something.”

“Say it.”

“My family bought property nearby. I’ll be stateside more often than not.” Geto smoothes a hand across your cheek, cupping your chin as you move onto his lap slowly.

“Haru will love that,” you breathe.

“But will you love that?” he wonders, ghosting his lips over yours.

“Yes, but--” He presses his lips to yours tenderly, cutting you off. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, feeling all of your shared love in that one kiss.

“Yes, but...?” he asks, pulling away and raising a brow.

“Was this your plan all along?” Suguru smiles, nipping at your bottom lip. His arm curls around your waist as he pins you beneath him, pressing a kiss to your neck.

“And if it was?”

“It’s definitely working.” Suguru hums in pleasure and continues to kiss you until you're at peace in his arms again, and fast asleep.

[hakuoyuki]

Ikemen Live CD Album Official Crowdfunding Project

After over a year and a half of the discontinuation of the in-app updates, with this year which marks the 3rd anniversary of the app, Ikemen Live has made a comeback but in form of a CD Crowdfunding Project to raise funds for the release of the remaining songs which have yet to have its full version release.

On September 5, 2021 “Own The Night～「Ikemen Live Koi no Uta wo Kimi ni」IkeLive 1st ALBUM” was released with a total of 7 songs (1 Main Theme sung by all Characters, 2 Unit songs, and 4 Character songs)

・最愛PHRASE【All Cast】 ・HORIZON【HOUNDS: Haruto, Ritsu, Eisuke, Gaku】 ・Even if【SilverVine: Kanade, Kyoichiro, Henri】 ・Liberty Sky~自由デアルタメニ~【Suma Haruto (CV：KENN)】 ・雨が終わる場所【Ginnami Ritsu (CV：Aoi Shouta)】 ・The Labor【Mashiro Kanade (CV：Fukamachi Toshinari)】 ・Go fly away【Amamiya Henri (CV：Ookawa Genki)】

However, 3 Character Songs and 6 additional Unit Songs only had its short version released in the app and the full versions for them have yet to be release to date... these songs are:

★Gaze you【Chigusa Kyoichiro (CV：Itou Kento)】 ★B/S Heaven【Shinonome Eisuke (CV：Taniyama Kishou)】 ★Open Strings【Suo Gaku (CV：Kaji Yuki)】 ★さようならDayDream【SilverVine: Kanade, Kyoichiro, Henri】 ★OneSong【HOUNDS: Haruto, Ritsu, Eisuke, Gaku】 ★Very Merry Holy Night【SilverVine: Kanade, Kyoichiro, Henri】 ★Nightmare Wonderland【Ritsu / Henri / Mokuran Shuji (CV：Ichikawa Taichi) / Ginnami Yuzuru (CV：Ueda Keisuke)】 ★Let us bet!【Haruto / Eisuke / Aizumi Koki (CV：Kondou Takashi) / Fujishiro Meguru (CV：Kuroda Takaya)】 ★饒舌EXPOSE【Haruto / Kanade / Tsubaki Makoto (CV：Ono Yuki)】

ー

On the crowdfunding page, it was stated that due to the cost of production, they weren’t able to release these songs despite various request for a CD release and to restart the operation of the app is also a difficult situation to manage. However, they didn’t want to just end IkeLive like this while they still have yet to deliver the full version of the remaining songs. As such, they have started this crowdfunding and will use the funding raised to make the CD production possible!

ーーーー

Deadline to reach the targeted goals is on November 16, 6PM JST.

This is an “All or Nothing” type of project, unless the following goal(s) is reached, the reward will not be given out. If the 3 Million JPY target is not reached, all funding will be refunded.

〜Goals〜

3 Million JPY raised for the release of Character Song Collection CD Album！

Character Song Collection CD Album consists of 最愛PHRASE【sung by All Cast】and 7 Solo Songs (7 Characters with Route Released)

6 Million JPY raised for the release of Unit Song Collection CD Album！

Unit Song Collection CD Album consists of 8 group songs released for Live Events (HORIZON, Even if, さようならDayDream, One Song, Very Merry Holy Night, Nightmare Wonderland, Let us bet!, 饒舌EXPOSE)

ーーーー

Link to crowdfunding page:

https://www.makuake.com/project/ikemen_live/

There are various tiers available with the two shown here being the lowest price tier with a CD Album as the reward. (Left (Yellow with Ritsu): Character Song Collection CD, Right (Purple with Meguru): Unit Song Collection CD)

Additionally, there’s also tiers with...

- various merchs (depending on the tier chosen) on top of CD Album

- alternative album covers (selectable) on top of CD Album

- no CD but merch only (Big Acrylic Standee, Dakimakura Cover, Big Can Badge, Goods Set, etc.)

Note: In order to help crowdfund the project, you’ll need an address in Japan to receive the rewards for helping to fund the project (in the case that the crowdfunding in successful) and a working payment method (international credit cards are usable) to pay for the funding.

If anyone want me to translate the rewards for the other tiers feel free to let me know and I can share those too.

[minachuuu]

Voices I Can’t Run Away From

❣Voices I Can’t Run Away From❣

First one for 2021! This request was so interesting to write guys. I really hope you enjoy it❤

❤ AU: DreamCatcher (Fem!) 8th Member

❤ Genre: Angst

❤ Word Count: 5.3k

❤ Song Suggestions: BOCA by DreamCatcher and Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park

❤ TW: Harassment, bullying, suicide especulation.

Day 1

Please make them shut up. Please.

I’m already way too far away, why do I still hear them? They only yell at me to get out of the band, there’s one too many people in there. The walls around me paint themselves in all the words that are written about me all over the internet, talentless, a nuisance, not enough. I already know that. But I was trying, I swear I was trying. 

Now nobody will have to see my face again, I promise. But please make them shut up.

There was something wrong, a new comeback meant being able to see Insomnias, play in variety shows, performing on stage, all those things you really loved. But not this time, this time it was only you, staring at your broken reflection in the car window, wondering how the hell would the makeup artist was going to cover your swollen red eyes. Your dehydrated throat itched, and you had a water bottle within reach but you couldn’t see the point. 

It didn’t matter how much you tried, how much you put yourself in practices until late at night. The truth was you were put late into the group, maybe it was that you were too young, but no amount of practice would be enough to put yourself on the level of professionalism and skill of your group mates. And there were people especially eager to remind you of that every day. 

Across the chats on VLives, on fancams, even posts on Weverse to the point where you just ignored the app completely. As quick as the new comeback video was up, comments were already written, ‘Dreamcatcher is only 7, not 8’, ‘Y/n is not on the level of the rest, I don’t even know how they could dare put a rookie in an already established group.’ You knew that, you questioned that yourself since the very first moment they announced you as the 8th member.

The car came to a stop that made you exit your thoughts, coming to the realization that you were already parked outside of the Music Bank’s building. You put on your hoodie, placing your mask over your nose and picking up Siyeon’s bucket hat, thankful that she had left it in the back seat on her last ride. You tried covering as much as you could with your hair and clothes, so hopefully no one could see what a disaster you were. 

“Y/n, it’s kind of hot outside,” JiU caught you trying to cover your entire self when she turned around to check on everybody. “Are you sure you-”

“I’m okay Unnie.” You cut her off, zipping the hoodie up as you placed the hood on top of your hat.

The rest of the girls in the van looked at each other concerned. They knew about the comments and even if you told them everyday that you were okay, they weren’t oblivious to how much you showed you weren’t.

One by one exited the car, being received by excited fansites taking their pictures. You halted at the sight of so many people between the entrance to the building and the van, your hands quivering as you felt your insides trembling. A warm hand touched your shoulder from behind, making you startled. You turned around to be received with Handong’s sweet smile and comforting eyes.

“Let’s go together,” She offered her hand as she exited the van before you. “Let’s be quick, the sun is hitting terribly today!”

Taking a deep sigh, you jumped out of the van with the help of your older member, feeling glad for all the layers on your outfit that prevented anyone from getting a clear sight of you. Your eyes refused to get away from the floor, while the members took their formation around you, blocking the view from you even further. Only then you dared looking up, catching a glimpse of the only fansite that you knew. She smiled at you gently, her eyes furrowing in concern. You offered her back a shy salute before lowering your sight again, keeping it on the floor as you kept walking.

Your ears were packed with cheers and screams of the people surrounding the entrance, making you a little uneasy. You wished you had put your airpods on, but at least this time wasn’t as bad as the last music show were-

“Dreamcatcher is seven!” You heard a scream coming out of the crowds. You had talked too soon. The shout was repeated from another side of the crowd, and then another time. Your eyes started stinging, your sight crystallizing while you felt Handong’s hand tighten her grip around yours. Yubin took your other hand in hers as everyone sped up their footsteps.

The managers around the group started herding the people away from the entrance, and in a few seconds, you found yourself inside, as the glass doors shut closed with your entire team following now inside the building. The shouts were muted in the distance, behind the doors. But not in your head. Those same people were going to watch you perform anyway, what was the point in hiding them.

Your team started heading towards the green room corresponding to your group, there was nothing else to do but follow them, but you were stopped when a hand took your wrist. You snapped free of the hand in defense, to then realize SuA was standing there, shocked. 

“Y/n…” Only a whisper was able to come out of her mouth, with the other girls closing in on you. Your mind was already overwhelming you so much, and your member trying to gloss it all over was not helping either. You turned around, evading their gaze and catching up with the team. 

You slouched over the couch, turning on your phone and playing some music once you found your airpods. One by one, the members entered the greenroom and you could feel their stare on you, but you tried drowning all sound from the outside. You used every ounce of energy left in your body from your badly spent nights on trying to contain the tears in your eyes, and you didn’t exactly pinpoint when, but as you leaned down on the couch, your consciousness floated away and you fell asleep.

Just like rewinding a tape, your mind took care of replaying the screams in your nightmares, getting louder and closer each second. The shouts closing in, forcing you between four walls made of glass that kept narrowing around you. You wanted to scream for help, but no sound came out of your mouth. The breath of the screams was so close you could feel it in the back of your neck, rattling your hair. A chill went down your spine as you hugged your knees close to your face to fit in the claustrophobic space. The strong sound of glass shattering welcomed silence, as you lifted your crying eyes. Your members all stood in a line in front of you. But there was something off about them. First it was Gahyeon, she opened her mouth but her voice didn’t sound like… her. You crawled towards them, trying to listen better.

“I was the maknae before you,” The bizarre Gahyeon screamed at you. “I am so much more deserving of that title!”

“Gahyeon Unnie-” You whispered, bringing your hands up to your mouth in shock.

“Your voice ain’t even that good,” Bizarre Yoohyeon screeched next. “How dare you think you could be at our level!”

One by one started launching these things at you, repeating them over, and over and over. That’s when you recognized them. All the comments you swore you had forgotten that you read on the comments sections. Or were they? What if this was the way your members really felt about you? What if...

“Oh, Y/n...” Bizarre JiU kneeled before you, an eerie smirk appearing on her face as her hand reached for your chin. “Everything Dreamcatcher could have been…”

“IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU!” All the girls shouted in unison, launching your body backwards.

You snapped up from the couch, your breathing heavy as if a thousand pounds pressed against your chest, your eyes were flooding with tears as your hands tried reaching for something or someone, anyone around. But you were alone. The greenroom was empty and silent except for you and your heavy panting. 

With your foggied mind, you grabbed another jacket that was left in the room, your phone and your bag. You sprinted towards the door and to the hallways, your group’s comeback song was playing in the distance, the heavy bass resonating across the walls. You halted your steps, wondering if you could turn back and join them in the rehearsal. 

If they wanted you with them, they could have woken you up. They’re already rehearsing for when you’re not around. They don’t need you!

A voice you didn’t recognize crammed your brain. You hold up your head, trying to get it out, but it kept repeating the last part over and over again. Your feet tried outrunning the voice, racing across the hallways as tear after tear caressed your cheeks after bursting free from your eyes. 

The sun rays hurt your swollen eyes when you busted the emergency exit from the back alley open. You covered them with your hat as your feet kept trying to outrun the voices in your head. To no avail, just like your dream, they were just getting closer and closer and closer. 

You ran as far as your feet and legs allowed you, crashing against the pavement from exhaustion. Your eyes scanned your surroundings, but recognized absolutely nothing. The area seemed calm, not a car or person passing around in the eternal time that it felt you were down in the ground. You caught a glimpse of an ally beside you, leading to a public restroom, where the sun didn’t hit you directly. That’s how you found yourself here, alone, snuggled in the cold corner of a deserted alley. 

You were lost, and… for once, you were not sure if you wanted to be found.

Day 2

I was finally able to sleep, my body was way too tired, and my back hurts from the stiff and cold ground I fell asleep in. I also have finally stopped crying, but my eyes and my throat are so swollen and dry. My phone has been dead for hours already. It’s definitely easier than declining every call and resisting the urge to check social media.

All those voices are still there, but at least they’re not shouting anymore.

- - - - - - - - - -

Day 3

It has been so quiet, nothing but the creeks of the rusty doors and the occasional car passing by. I’m starting to miss their voices. Laughing with Yoohyeon and Gahyeon Unnies, Bora and Siyeon Unnies always exist so loudly. I miss quietly hanging around Yubin and Handong, even being nagged by Minji Unnie. Now I cry at the thought of them, I love them but that’s why it’s best for me not to keep ruining their lives. They’re better without me...

“It doesn’t even ring anymore,” Siyeon angrily tossed her phone at the wall, desperate. “It just sends you straight to voicemail.”

“No no no,” JiU barged in, her eyes full of worry as she walked from one side to the other in the Inkigayo green room. “We can’t give up, there must be something else we can do.”

“We have done everything possible in our hands to help...” Gahyeon caressed a plushie in her hands, one you had gifted her on her birthday a year before. “But I really wish we could do more.”

“How did we allow this to come so far?” JiU threw her body weight into the couch, her eyes crystallizing as she rested her head in her hands. “Why did it have to come to this? If only I had-”

“Unnie, don’t blame yourself.” Yoohyeon sat besides JiU, surrounding her with her arms. 

"Why did I let this happen? I knew she wasn't okay and we couldn't reach her." JiU kept pushing the blame on to herself, the tears flowing more freely through her cheeks. "I was supposed to take care of her and I… Failed."

"We all failed." Handong muttered from the corner, hugging her knees. "She was our little maknae, and we didn't realize how much of this was hurting her."

"I don't understand…" Yoohyeon was next, caressing her leader's back as she spoke. "She can rap, sing, dance. She's an ace of her generation. She practiced day and night, everywhere…" 

"She must be cold, alone…" SuA broke in, cleaning away a tear from her chin. “She even left her favorite blanket at home, I folded it for her just in case-"

SuA couldn't continue talking as the knot in her throat tightened with each word. 

Three days ago after finishing their rehearsal on Music Bank, the girls went back to the greenroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of you still sound asleep cuddled up in blankets they gently put on top of you, just like they had left you, deciding you knew the moves and camera drills enough to be able to sit down this rehearsal. As your roommates, SuA and Yoohyeon knew you spent restless nights, silently sobbing on top of your bunk bed, so they allowed you to rest what you needed to rest before the presentation. 

But when they opened the door, you weren’t anywhere to be seen. Keeping calm they searched in the bathroom, the change rooms and even in the closets, remembering your habit of hiding to scare them later. But you weren’t there. The managers went out of the room to search for you all around the building. But you weren’t there. Everyone tried calling your phone but to no answer, your bag and jackets were nowhere to be seen. Time was running out, with the managers frantically trying to search for you everywhere, the girls buried their hands in the makeup chair as they spent every second trying to reason your whereabouts. With only five minutes before going into stage and still no sign of you, the company had to tell the public that you would be sitting out the promotions for health reasons, only to not panic the fans.

They had to continue their activities without you, and by night when still nobody knew anything of you, the company filed a missing report, and a search for you began. The girls had to endure every presentation with a straight face, but each one kept wearing their hearts, your absence clearer day by day. 

“We must try and remain positive.” Siyeon tried breaking the ice, cleaning more tears from SuA’s cheeks. “We’ll find Y/n, and then Dreamcatcher we’ll be complete again.”

“But what if she doesn’t want to come back?” Yubin, who since your disappearance had remained silent except for their forced schedules, finally dared speaking, making everyone snap their faces to her.

“Yubin…” Siyeon muttered. 

“It’s just that,” She continued talking, with all the girls glued to her words. “Even we were hesitant at the idea of adding an eighth member. If she didn’t feel completely welcome somewhere, why would she stay where people keep hurting her?”

“But Insomnias love her!” Gahyeon remarked.

“But the ones that don’t are always louder,” Yubin continued. “And we did nothing to stop them, almost as if our silence agreed with them.”

“What are you saying-”

“I’m saying we didn’t do enough in time,” She stood up from her chair, enraged. “And pretending in front of everyone that it didn’t have any consequences it’s even worse. Y/n didn’t catch a mild cold, Y/n’s gone.”

Her last words bounced on the walls like an echo that consumed their minds little by little. They knew Dami was right. 

An strenuous fear invaded their bodies at once, one that repeated over and over that it was too late to get to you. That they could have prevented this by calling out those people bringing you down, it's not like they hadn't done it before. 

What use did it have to have songs all about stopping the hate and standing up for each other when they were the first ones that failed their own promise. 

The silence was broken when a manager opened the door, with his head down, wary of intruding the girl’s space. The girls jumped from their place, startled, hesitant. 

“Any news?” JiU stroke away a tear falling from her eye.

“Not yet, I’m so sorry.” The manager shook his head apologetic. JiU buried her hands on her face, dwelling on the heaviest silence surrounding the girls. The manager took a big sigh before continuing the message he was sent to deliver. “They’re waiting for you at the stage for rehearsal ladies, I can tell them you’ll be on your way in a moment-”

“We’re on our way…” SuA, after finishing an entire box of tissues was the first to stand up, fixing her clothes and rubbing her eyes.

Perplexed, the rest of the girls followed close. The halls silent as they traveled through them only allowed them to keep thinking about you. You who aside SuA would already be racing each other to the stage. Or maybe gossiping in the back with Gahyeon and Yoohyeon. Riding on the back of Siyeon or talking with Yubin about the latest book you read. Maybe asking JiU and Handong for advice on something about life. But your cheery, youthful voice was nowhere to be found and all the girls walked separately, their eyes fixated on the floor. 

The girls arrived at the stage, with the crew waiting for them to take their places. As usual, they introduced the group to the people working with them.

“Dream of me! Hello, we are Dreamcatcher!” They chorused together, aligned by age. Each one of them introduced themselves, one after the other. Gahyeon was last, but everyone remained silent, leaving the space for your name, a certain hope they could at least faintly hear you calling it. But there was only silence that cut like a knife through them. 

“Thank you for your hard work!” JiU swallowed heavily as each one of them took their places to start the choreography. There was a cold space between Siyeon and Yoohyeon left for you, and they could not stop looking at it, worried they might miss the moment you arrived to fill it.

The director called for the song to start, all the camera crew ready to go through the drill. The first beats started, the girls swiftly moving with the bass, hitting each count. But their eyes could focus correctly, always glancing to where you would be standing, a faint desire to catch your silhouette moving aside them, all of this just being a bad dream.

The girls each sang their part accordingly. But it was too much for SuA to handle when she was assigned to sing your parts. The dancing machine tripped on her own feet, falling on the floor in tears. All the girls ran to her aid, Gahyeon surrounding her with her arms as she couldn’t contain her tears either.

The director called for the music to stop, as managers rushed to surround them, some of them tearing up at the sight of the hopeless girls in front of them.

“This was her song!” SuA sobbed. “She wrote this song with a smile on her face and they took that away from her!”

The words coming out of the older girl made everyone without fault start shedding tears. They couldn’t continue like this, not without you.

Day 4

The days are getting even colder, and I’ve finally dared to look at the mirror. I even had forgotten that I still had makeup on, it’s all smudged on my pale, thin face. I managed to get most of it off, but my bare face didn’t look any better. There’s still swelling in my eyes, dark deep circles around them. My lips border the color purple and I can’t stop shivering. It doesn’t help that now I’m missing my member’s hugs…

- - - - - - - - - -

Day 5

With my bare face and my body in such a bad condition I don’t think anybody could recognize me out. There’s still some money on my wallet, maybe I’ll go buy some food at the corner store later. I should also start looking for another place to sleep, and someday, maybe someday I’ll have the guts to go back to the girls and explain everything. For now, even though I’m thankful for everything that I spent with them, I’ll root for them from afar. 

A few of the first rays of sun from the day traveled through the only high window in the room landing in your face, a warm morning kiss from the universe. You moaned as you stretched your sore limbs across the cold floor, lingering on the dryness of your mouth, before painfully reincorporating up. Your swollen eyes adjusted to the dim light of the room, carefully scanning their surroundings. Bird chirps with a light breeze ruffling the trees outside joined your heartbeat as the only things you could listen to. Settling with a sigh, you rested your back on the wall behind you, staying there for a few seconds that seemed a good amount of minutes for you.

A growl trembled through your body, emerging from your stomach. You reached for your bag, searching to see if there was anything left to satisfy your appetite, only able to get out a bunch of empty wrappers.

“Great, half a protein bar.” You unwrapped the piece of food, aggressively munching on it. You turned around to get your water bottle, unfortunately discovering it was empty too. “Ah, crap.”

You got your wallet out of your bag, carefully exploring it. You had enough money left to buy some stuff from the corner store, with some extra left. Carefully, you stood up, gathering all the strength from your aching body. Approaching the mirror, you opened the faucet and splashed your face with a bit of cold water. For once, you recognized your reflection, faintly smiling at it.

You grabbed your things, putting all your jackets on, your mask over your nose. You stared at Siyeon’s bucket hat, while a flood of bittersweet memories invaded your mind. You put it on, a soft feeling of protection emanating from it. After hanging your bag from your shoulder and checking your dead phone was there you faced the door, and opened it with a sigh, ready to explore your whereabouts. 

You walked the length of the alley to the street, warily scanning your surroundings. Traveling through the little street that seemed like an alley in itself, with only a one way path for one car to fit, not more than ten of them passed around in the day, you knew that because you counted them on your 4th day. A fairly quiet oasis in the frantic city that was Seoul, you were surprised you haven’t crossed paths with another human in that window of time. 

Recalling your time here, there were some voices that you sometimes listened to in the distance through the window in the room you hid. A couple of women of what you assumed were around 50 or 60, always gossiping about the latest stuff their families were up to; a group of children always shouting and playing ball on their way back home from school and a man that whistled always the same songs as he walked past the allie. 

You got to the corner, a little more city activity visible down the road. Across the street, a little convenience store sat open, the only visible person there was the owner, reading the newspaper with a Tv turned on in the news channel behind him. After checking the street for cars, you crossed, opening the door to the store. The owner lowered the newspaper to catch a glimpse of you, glancing from head to toe. Startled at your first human interaction since your escape, you politely bowed after taking a basket and then continued your way through the aisles of the store in silence.

Carefully listening to the news in the back to know what the world had been into while you isolated yourself, you put in the basket some packs of ramen and chips, before moving towards the beverage aisle. You picked up a large bottle, enough to last about three days if you rationed it fair enough. You traveled through the sweets aisle looking for something to treat yourself when your ears picked something from the TV that made a shiver travel through your spine.

“On entertainment news, DreamCatcher has decided to sit out promotions of their new comeback at least until there are news of the whereabouts of their youngest member.” The news anchor seriously remarked, you discreetly leaned closer to where the TV was, eager to listen more. “The police have been looking for her nonstop for five days now, and morale is low but the group isn’t giving up yet.”

You couldn’t contain a gasp escaping your mouth at the mention of your members, listening even more mindfully to the TV.

“The video uploaded to Dreamcatcher’s channel calling for everyone’s help in the search of information for Y/n location has been going viral all around Korea,” You turned to face the TV, an image of your members tired, with their eyes swollen. “It has also been used as another unfortunate example of what unwarranted harmful comments can do to people. With thousands of their fans and other artists standing up against harassment in her name.”

The TV drew you closer as a magnet towards itself, as the program continued.

“We can appreciate in the video that the members themselves cannot contain their tears, with members SuA and Gahyeon not talking at all while trying to swallow tears. As a strong leader JiU carries the video, calling for all hands on deck in this search.” The anchor reviewed their notes, releasing a clearly upset sigh. “We can only urge you to help in the search, and wish for the best possible outcome of this situation. We are all hoping for the best for this talented young lady.”

The program continued towards other news, leaving you there breathless. People out there, not only your members or fans, but a whole nation was out there looking for you. You swallowed the tears and bravely approached the counter.

“Excuse me sir,” You lowered your voice as much as you could, trying to make yourself unrecognizable. The man closed his newspaper aggressively, laying it on the counter, his eyes piercing through your conscience. “I- I couldn’t help myself, listening to the TV right now, do you know what happened to Dreamcatcher’s maknae?”

“Young lady,” The man’s voice sounded surprisingly tender, relief traveling in your body when he didn’t realize your true identity. “Where have you been lately? It’s been all over the news.”

“I-” You gulped, looking for an excuse. “I was studying hard for exams Sir.”

“Fair enough. Good luck on those.” He stood up from his chair and approached the counter, a faint smell of tobacco accompanying him. “Dreamcatcher’s maknae has been missing for about five days now. It’s believed she escaped because of the hate she got, the company even took legal actions against the people making the most damage.”

“Huh-” 

“Police have been searching every corner they can, boats already deployed on the Han river in case she… You know. But it’s been so long that faith has been wearing off, everyone is praying for a miracle, for her to be found alive,” He lowered his sight, fidgeting his hands on the counter. Your breath halted at his last words, your heart sinking in your chest as your tears were almost uncontainable. “Such a shame, my grandkid loves the group and she has been crying non-stop since the news broke out. I could see she had great potential.”

“She- she did?” You dared raising your eyes, surprised at the owner’s words. 

“She really did.” 

A tense silence took over your body, with a thousand ideas floating around in your brain. But there was one that took over all the others quickly enough. You only put the bag of chips and the bottle on the counter, getting your wallet out of your bag.

“I’m just going to need these two sir,” You mumbled as the owner scanned each item, bringing you the total amount to pay. “And a favor.”

“What would that favor be, young lady?” He answered as he counted the cash you handed to him, attentively handing you your items.

“Can you please call me a taxi?”

- - - - - - - - - -

The girls sat in silence on their dorm, their eyes filled with dark circles around following their sleepless nights worrying for you, the TV was full of news programs in the morning and they decided to ignore them since they only drilled them with your absence and the reminder that even the most professional teams searching for you could not locate you was pretty discouraging. 

“What if we never find her?” JiU was the first to burst into tears again, the biggest toll falling on her shoulders as she spent day and night on the sofa facing their dorm’s front door. Tears were common already as they couldn’t help but having their minds be filled with ideas they didn’t even want to explore.

Silence filled the air, making everyone turn their heads towards Yoohyeon and Siyeon, they had repeatedly answered everything negative the girls cried with encouragement. But on the dawn of the fifth day, they didn’t feel like raising the group morale when not even them felt so certain about the future either.

“I- don’t know.” Were the only words coming out of Siyeon’s mouth as a mumble, making all the other girls start tearing up again.

Swallowed sobs reigned the air until a soft hum stood out. Yubin’s gentle singing filled the air, the other girls recognizing the song immediately. Your song. One by one the other girls joined her, harmoniously swelling their surroundings with a much needed drop of hope for their soul. As the song continued, each one of them cuddled towards each other, seeking the warmth and comfort of their arms. A silent promise to deliver this and so much more to you if you ever came back. 

The song was arriving to their end, as silent once again reigned the room when a sigh from the leader broke through. JiU caressed the backs of the girls surrounding her,

“We’ll wait for her the time that we need too-” 

A knock in the door startled all the girls, making them jump to their feet. Conflicting emotions swirling around them. It could be a manager, asking them about activities details, a police officer coming to deliver bad news or maybe…

Handong was the first brave soul to open the door, bracing for whatever good or bad news was standing behind it. 

You stood there, rigid and nervous, your fists clenching your arms for dear life as the light of the room illuminated your silhouette. She recognized your figure immediately, with only the shock of the moment preventing her from moving either.

“Y/n?...” She whispered as a first reflex.

“I’m sorry.” You answered back, trembling. “I’m so sorry-”

You felt your hand being pulled into the room, with the weight of her body slamming against yours, followed by the screams and cries of the rest of the girls approaching.

“You don’t have to be sorry.�� JiU cried as the group hug got tighter around you. 

“Welcome back home” SuA continued, her tears dampening your shoulder.

Every evil thought banished away from your mind when the familiar smell and warmth of your members surrounded you. A thousand attacks and insults could be headed your way, but it didn’t matter in the moment, a safety blanket protecting you in the form of the best people you had ever met in your life, it didn’t cross your mind to ever let them go, and they would never let you feel alone ever again. The promise beating hard in each of your hearts.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Hey guys! It’s Ash here.)

I hope you are doing good, as you have read all the way down, this one was filled with some heavy emotions. I just wanted to tell you all that, you are never alone and there will always be light at the end of the tunnel. If you struggle with intrusive negative thoughts, HERE you can find a masterpost with a lot of resourses for help. I’m also here if you ever want to chat. Stay safe, with love. Ash❤

[eldritchteaparty]

Chapters: 16/22 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Rosie Zampano, Oliver Banks, Original Elias Bouchard, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane, Melanie King, Georgie Barker, Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Basira Hussain Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, Scars, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'll add characters and tags as they come up, Reference to injuries and blood, Character Death In Dream, Nudity (not sexual or graphic), Nightmares, Fighting

Summary: Following the events of MAG 200, Jon and Martin find themselves in a dimension very much like the one they came from--with second chances and more time.

Chapter summary:  Everyone heads to Elias’s house to continue discussing their situation. Jon and Martin talk with Elias.

Chapter 16 of my post-canon fix-it is out! Read at AO3 above or here below the cut.

Tumblr master post with links to previous chapters is here.

***

Martin took the front seat for the ride out to Elias’s house. He wasn’t sure if that was what Jon preferred, but it felt like it put less pressure on him to engage with Elias. He supposed he could have made some excuse to sit in the back seat with Jon, which is what he’d really wanted to do, but that would have made what was already a very awkward occasion even more awkward; after all, Elias was doing them a favor.

He wished he’d thought before to ask Jon how he actually felt about Elias. There was no guarantee Jon would have wanted to talk about it, but he should have offered him the chance. Martin could tell Jon wasn’t comfortable around Elias, but then again, neither was he. It wasn’t Elias, necessarily—it was more about the fact that when he looked at him, he couldn’t help but see Jonah Magnus, at least for a moment.

This brought up a bigger question that Martin had thought about but had no way to really ask Jon, and that was how much he operated on what Martin imagined most people did—memories, experience, reasoning things out—and how much he operated on knowing and feeling things most people couldn’t feel. During the apocalypse it had been almost exclusively the latter, based on how incapacitated Jon had been when separated from the Eye, but he knew Jon didn’t have nearly the abilities he’d had then.

On the other hand, there had been times recently when Jon had acted on Martin’s feelings without even realizing he’d been doing it; Martin suspected it had happened more times than he knew. Was it just with him that happened?

Only half conscious of it, he turned to check on Jon in the back seat.

He’d basically succeeded in putting the thought of their bond from the Lonely out of his mind since their first big argument here. Jon had just gotten so sick, and then—well, everything else, and he’d basically filed it away, undigested, a concept he didn’t quite know what to do with. Now, as Martin watched Jon stare distractedly out of the car window and into the night outside, the thought reinstated itself.

What did it mean, now that they appeared to be heading down the same path as before? Although he detested the whole idea, maybe he was somehow essential to Jon being able to start another apocalypse—or maybe, if Jon did end up starting one, Martin was essential to whatever his plans might be afterward. Could he use that somehow to—to help keep Jon safe?

As soon as the thought occurred to him, the guilt poured in from wherever it tucked itself away. Trying to protect Jon always felt so much like working against him, and he hated it, but he still hadn’t found another way. The guilt compounded with a familiar frustration bordering on anger—no, it was anger—as he reminded himself that even if he came up with something, even if he did manage to find some small foothold of power in this situation, it would almost certainly backfire. Everything—every plan, every measure of protection he or Jon had tried to take—always had.

He realized Jon had stopped staring into the darkness outside of the car and was now looking at him.

Martin took a breath to say something—he wasn’t sure what—when Elias spoke for the first time since they’d gotten in the car.

“Everything all right?”

“Um—yeah,” Martin said, turning back around in his seat. “Yeah, it’s just late, and I—I guess I’m tired. Sorry for not being more helpful.”

“Oh, I’m fine. I do this drive a lot.”

“Yeah, I—I guess you do.” Martin glanced back to see Jon had returned to looking in the direction of the window. “I mean, every day, right?” It was an incredibly stupid question, but Martin felt obligated to make some effort to keep the conversation going.

“Well—mostly. Every now and then I stay in the office overnight.” Elias turned and caught Martin’s eye, but the resulting discomfort seemed to be mutual, and he quickly returned his eyes to the road. “Or, I suppose, more often I just don’t come in in the first place. Sasha pretends to hate it, but I think we all know she’s happier when I just stay out of the way.”

Elias laughed at his own self-derogatory remark, and Martin tried to be polite with a quick hm. He hadn’t spent a lot of time around Elias here; he’d actually done his best to avoid him, simply because he was his boss, and Elias had seemed fine with that. It was the same way he’d tried to avoid Jon before—before he’d turned out to be Jon. Sasha had always been Sasha, she’d gone out of her way to make him comfortable, but—well, in any case, he didn’t think that laughing about Elias being a shit boss was the best way to forge a relationship. He had no idea how to interact with him under the best of circumstances, and therefore tonight was a lost cause. Thankfully, Elias seemed to arrive at the same conclusion, and let the conversation drop.

Martin turned to imagining the scenery that might be outside the car for the remainder of the ride.

He assumed they had arrived when Elias turned the car off the main road, and the surface beneath the car began to crunch. They drove a short way down this gravel lane before Elias stopped the car and pulled out his phone and opened an app.

“Looks like Allan gave up on me tonight,” he said. “Give it a minute… and… there.”

Several flood lights lit up the drive that curved around in front of an impressive country house; it was an impressive house to Martin, anyway. Elias hadn’t been joking when he’d said he had enough bedrooms to go around. His surprise must have shown on his face.

“The outside’s the best part,” Elias said, as he pulled the car around near the front door. “I really don’t even use most of it. It was a family place. No idea why I hang on to it, other than—well, it works.”

“Did you grow up out here?”

“Here?” Elias asked. “No—not really. We lived in town. We came here sometimes, I guess. Mostly my father rented this one out. I sold the London place as soon as he died, and meant to do the same with this one, but—well, it’s been twenty years—twenty-five, almost? Christ—and here we are.”

“Right,” Martin said, even though he had no frame of reference at all. His mother had died with nothing but what she’d kept with her in the care home. He supposed he was grateful for that; he’d barely found the fortitude to go through the couple of boxes they had returned to him. “Well—thanks again for having us all out here.”

“Oh—it’s, um—” Elias paused. “It’s the least I can do.”

“It’s not.” They turned to look at Jon.

“Sorry?”

“I’m just saying it’s—it’s not the least you can do. It’s rather far from it, actually.”

“Well—” Elias paused again. “Look, I’m feeling sort of—”

“They’re here.”

“What?”

Headlights flashed down the drive.

“Oh, the girls,” Martin said. “Guess they left around the same time we did.” Elias and Jon were already getting out of the car by the time he finished his sentence, clearly also not eager to have a real conversation for the moment.

“Park anywhere,” Elias told them as they pulled up. “You see where Allan’s parked, and we’re not expecting anyone else.”

“Tim,” Sasha said from the back seat. “He’ll be here. Well—in a day or two.”

“He’s been here before. He’ll figure it out.”

They managed to get everything out of the cars in one go, with Elias bringing Georgie’s bags, and Georgie carrying a padded crate that emitted an occasional small sound of distress. Georgie caught Martin looking toward the crate as they walked toward the house.

“He’s not fond of car rides, I’m afraid. Do you—like cats?”

“Oh, I just like animals,” Martin said, wondering why he was suddenly feeling shy. It was interesting, feeling something like a normal emotion in the middle of all this. He couldn’t decide if it was a waste of energy or a relief. “Never really had a pet, though.”

“Well, this is the Admiral. He’s pretty friendly, at least when he’s not in the car, so—”

“Oh yeah, Jon’s told me all about him.”

“Is that so?” Georgie asked, turning to look at Jon.

“I, uh—did get to know him a bit. Before. There, I mean.”

“Right,” Georgie said, shaking her head. “It’s going to take me a while longer to get used to this.”

“All right,” said Elias, as they walked through the front door. “I know it’s late, so if you all don’t mind I’ll save the tour for tomorrow. I was thinking it might be best if you all stayed on the first floor, but there are other rooms on the second floor. That’s where Allan’s room is. My bedroom’s down there”—he pointed to hallway on the right— ��and I was thinking you all could stay here.” He led them down a hallway in the opposite direction.

“There are three rooms. Sasha, this one’s just got a double. It’s the smallest room, and you’d have to use the bath across the hall here—well, I mean, there are others, but that’s the closest. If it’s ok with you—”

“Oh, yeah,” Sasha looked both tired and appreciative. “Honestly, it’s much bigger than my room at home. It’s—it’s great. If you all don’t mind, I might head off? Try and get some sleep?”

“All yours. Oh—that door at the end of the hall, that’s a linen closet. If any of you need an extra blanket or towel or anything.”

“Thanks,” Sasha said. “For all of this. Goodnight.”

They headed just a little further down the hall as Sasha closed the door behind herself. “As for the other two rooms—Melanie and—Georgia—”

“Georgie.”

“Right, I’m—I’m sorry—Georgie—I was thinking if you didn’t mind sharing the hallway bath with Sasha, this room has a super king. Or the other one’s a king, but it does have an en-suite shower. And again, there are other rooms upstairs if—”

“I’m ok with this one,” Melanie said. “Georgie?”

“Sure. Unless you two—?” She looked toward Martin and Jon.

“Oh, I don’t—I don’t think we care?” He looked at Jon, who by now also seemed quite tired. Jon shook his head. “I mean, we’ve been sharing a double, and I guess before that we just slept on the ground somewhere, you know, when we could sleep, so…”

He trailed off as he realized everyone was looking at him with slightly wide eyes—even Melanie, who had been avoiding eye contact since they had arrived. He hadn’t meant to say quite that much.

“Well,” Georgie said quickly, releasing some of the tension, “if you’re really fine with it, honestly, the Admiral’s a snuggler, so… yeah. We wouldn’t mind the extra space.”

“Here, I’ll—” Elias picked up Georgie’s bags again from where he had temporarily set them on the hallway floor, and glanced at Jon and Martin. “Are you two all right? It’s just the last door down that way.”

“Thank you,” Jon said, surprising Martin.

“You’re welcome,” Elias said, before turning to help Melanie and Georgie get settled.

Like Sasha, their room was also much bigger than the one they shared at home. Not only did the king fit in it—it would not have in Jon’s flat, as the double just about took up all the room left after the dresser and the side tables—there was also an armchair to one side of the bed and a small writing desk in the corner. He remembered Elias commenting that his father used to rent the place out.

“Bit formal,” Martin commented as he set down Jon’s suitcase, which had been the heavier of their two bags. “Big, though.”

Jon nodded and handed Martin’s bag to him before sinking on to the end of the bed. Martin took a moment to sit next to him.

“You all right?”

“Yeah.”

“Tired? Want to go to bed?”

Jon nodded. They undressed; they knew which sides of the bed belonged to each of them without asking. Just as Martin was about to pull down the sheets, he realized the only switch to turn off the light was near the door. Jon was already in bed, so he got up to turn it off. He looked at Jon as he did; his eyes were already closed.

“Jon?”

“Hm?”

“Do you feel safe here?”

“Like I said before—we’re as safe here as anywhere.”

“Do you feel safe here? With Elias?”

“Oh. I—” Jon paused, opening his eyes. “I do.”

“Ok.” Although he felt like maybe there was more to it, one of Jon’s short answers was going to have to be good enough for tonight. Martin turned off the light and felt his way back to the bed. Once under the covers, he reached out to find Jon. He realized he was glad that the king wasn’t that much bigger than their double. He felt Jon turn toward him in the dark.

Outside, through the conduit of the hallway and the walls connecting their rooms, he heard Melanie’s raised voice, too muffled to understand. She continued for a few minutes, her words occasionally peppered by some also-muffled comment from Georgie, and then there was silence again. A small part of him found comfort in it, even if Melanie was agitated. It was familiar; it was something outside of himself and Jon that he knew and still felt he could trust for what it was.

“I wonder what she’s on about?” Martin asked, yawning.

He didn’t expect Jon to answer, so he was a little surprised that he did. “That’s her business. Or—hers and Georgie’s.”

“Oh. I didn’t mean—I wasn’t really asking. Just talking.” Jon’s comment had, however, reminded him of what had happened on their ride over in the car.

“Jon, can I ask you about something? I mean—if you need to sleep—”

“I’m fine.”

“In the car tonight—when you—looked at me. Did you know what I was thinking?”

“What you were thinking? No.”

“What I was feeling, then?”

“I’m—” Jon started to move away from him, but Martin reached out to touch his arm and he stopped. “I’m sorry.”

“Look, I—I’m sure you didn’t mean to. Just please, talk to me. You—you can’t help it, can you? Sometimes.”

Jon was quiet; Martin could hear him breathing, feel him struggle with the tension in his body. He gave him a minute. “I don’t like it,” he finally said.

“I know you don’t. Is it—just me? Or are you always feeling everyone’s feelings?”

“It’s just you. Of course, it’s just you. You know why.”

“I see.” He sat with that for a moment, letting it sink in as he alternated the pressure of his fingers against Jon’s arm. He knew he was fidgeting, but Jon didn’t seem to mind it. Maybe it was helping. “What did you feel tonight?”

“You were—you were feeling guilty. You always feel guilty, but this was… sharp. And you were angry. And—” Jon shifted under his hand, but didn’t pull away again. “And it all had something to do with me.”

“I wasn’t angry at you.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“And I’m not going to give you one, other than that. I just—I want you to know that.”

“You know—it’s all right if you are mad at me. I would understand.”

“I know. But I’m not.”

Martin let that settle for a moment before speaking again. “Jon is this—new? I mean, different this time?”

“Sort of,” Jon said. “During the apocalypse, I suppose I—gravitated that way. To your feelings. But everything—everyone—was so loud then. I knew you didn’t like it, and there was always something to drown it out.”

He stopped and cleared his throat. Martin waited.

“Now… Now it’s like when it gets quiet, and all at once you can hear your own heartbeat, feel your pulse radiating through your body. And then you try to stop hearing it, stop feeling it, and—”

“And you can’t,” Martin finished. Jon’s words were becoming painful, although he wasn’t sure for which one of them. “Yeah. All right.”

“I should have told you before.”

“I know why you didn’t. It’s—it’s ok.” Martin said. “I’m sure my feelings are no picnic for you either.”

Jon moved again, but this time it was toward Martin, into his chest. The covers slipped down from his shoulder as he did, and Martin reached for them, pulling them back up. Carefully, so he would not disturb them again, he slid his arm down around Jon’s waist.

They slept.

***

Martin was disoriented when he woke up. It took a moment to remember where he was; the darkness confused him. There were windows on two sides of this room, yet both were covered with heavy curtains instead of blinds, and very little light actually came in. He sensed it was still early, but he wasn’t sure how early until he checked his phone. He hadn’t slept especially late, which wasn’t surprising given how much sleep he’d forced on his body over the last couple of days—but Jon was gone.

Jon’s clothes from the previous day were neatly placed on his side of the bed, so he’d taken the time to get dressed. Martin took that as a sign that he didn’t need to worry. He stood up and stretched, then peeked out of the curtains of the closest window. He couldn’t even see another house from where they were; the lawn extended off into the distance, with the occasional tree adding some variety to the landscape. If they wanted to be away from other people, it looked like they had achieved their goal.

He left one of the curtains open for the little light it provided, and found the small bag with his razor and toothbrush before heading to the bathroom. They had been so tired that they hadn’t even looked at it the night before. It was spacious, with two sinks and a large shower with a hinged glass door. Jon had already been in that morning—either he had been exceptionally quiet or Martin had slept very hard, and he would have believed either. He was slightly amused at his compulsion to use the other sink, the one Jon had not used.

After he had finished up and gotten dressed, he cautiously opened the door and looked down the hallway. No one was there; it was quiet. He closed the door gently behind him and headed back in the direction of the foyer they had walked through when they had come into the house; he imagined he’d find some kind of main room nearby. He passed Georgie and Melanie’s room, and then Sasha’s room; both doors were still closed.

As he drew closer to the foyer, he heard low voices from a room to the other side of the hallway. They sounded conversational, comfortable even. He quickly realized one of them was Jon, and as he continued to walk toward them he recognized the other as Elias. He froze just as he reached the doorway, not sure if he should interrupt; before he could really catch any of the conversation, however, Jon spoke out to him.

“Martin? Is—is that you?”

Is that me, Martin thought, right—but even if they had been alone he wouldn’t have called him on it after their conversation the previous night.

“Um, yeah,” he said, stepping with embarrassment to the edge of the foyer where they could see him. “I wasn’t trying to—I just wasn’t sure if I should interrupt. I can head off, if—”

“Come on in,” Elias said, looking cheerier than Martin could recall seeing him recently. He and Jon were seated in a very proper pair of armchairs, with a small side table situated between them; Elias sipped coffee from a mug as Martin entered. “I was just telling Jon about my father, which is apparently the only thing I know how to talk about when someone is forced to spend more than five minutes with me.”

“Oh,” Martin said, not sure what else to say. The room had a high ceiling and was almost uncomfortably large; there was a fireplace that didn’t appear to get much use, more armchairs, and a sofa with a large rectangular coffee table in front of it. There were windows and a large set of decorative doors in the back of the room—presumably leading to the back lawn—but like the windows in the bedroom, they all let in much less light than Martin felt like they should.

“Coffee? Tea?” Elias asked.

“Um—I’d love some tea. I can get it though, if you tell me where the—kitchen is.”

“Back that way.” Elias pointed behind himself to another doorway Martin had failed to notice. “Through the breakfast room. I’ve got one of those machines that does the whole coffee-espresso-tea-blah blah-whatever thing. Well, really, it’s Allan’s, but he finally broke me down and I started using it. Help yourself.”

Martin looked at Jon, trying to discern whether he was all right. “Go on,” Jon said, gesturing back toward the kitchen with a nod of his head. He did seem ok, Martin thought. He seemed calm, anyway.

Martin headed back to grab some tea. He had trouble thinking of it as making tea—he had a dislike for these machines, they never really boiled the water properly—but it would more than make do this morning. He automatically set out two mugs from the selection on the counter, and only when he was in the middle of adding milk did he realize he hadn’t noticed whether Jon already had one. Fortunately, he did not, and he enthusiastically reached for the cup when Martin set it in front of him.

Martin sat on the sofa, the option closest to the armchairs, but he still felt separated from Jon and Elias. It was like the furniture was spread too far apart to make up for the vastness of the room, and hadn’t quite succeeded.

“Did you sleep ok?” It took a moment for him to realize Elias was talking to him.

“Oh—yeah. Yeah, I guess I did.” Martin rubbed the side of his neck. “I actually wasn’t sure what time it was when I woke up. The curtains keep it pretty dark in there.”

“Ugh.” He had just meant to imply that it was good for sleeping, but apparently it was a sore spot for Elias. “Worst thing about this place—it’s so dark. And it really didn’t have to be, you know?” He took another sip of his coffee. “Sometimes I think my father really preferred—oh, never mind. I’ve had enough of his ghost already this morning.”

Martin took a sip of his tea in the brief but uncomfortable silence that followed; he was saved from having to think of something to say when the front door closed loudly. He turned to look toward the foyer, but no one was there.

“Oh, that was just Allan,” Elias said. “He usually heads in about now.”

“Oh. Does he—know we’re all here?”

“He’ll figure it out.”

“What, you didn’t tell him?”

“Nah. He’ll ask if he cares. He’s always pretty wrapped up at work this time of year.”

“What—what does he do?” Martin asked.

“He’s a professor at the University here in Kent.”

“Oh. In Canterbury.”

“Yeah.” Elias, who had been holding his coffee cup quite comfortably between his hands until this point, set it down on the side table. “Actually, to be completely honest—I mean, he is very wrapped up, he just gets that way—but I wasn’t sure I wanted to involve him in all this. You don’t—you don’t happen to know if Allan was all right there? In the—other dimension?”

Martin opened his mouth before he knew what he was going to say, and then turned to Jon. It was clear neither of them had expected this question, and Martin felt both guilty and grateful when Jon took the responsibility for answering it.

“He—no. He was not all right. He died. A long time ago, before you did. Did you—want to know about it?”

Elias sighed. “I just—had this feeling, I guess. I don’t know. Will it help if I know? Help him, I mean?”

“I have no idea,” Jon said.

“Huh.” Elias leaned forward in his armchair and clasped his hands together, contemplating, and then turned to Martin. “Would you want to know, if you were me?”

Martin shook his head, holding up his hands in front of him. “Oh, if Jon doesn’t know if it will help, I definitely don’t. I—”

“I know. But what—what would you do?”

“I guess—” Martin looked at Jon, who shrugged. “I’m not saying it’s right, and honestly, I’m probably the worst person to ask, but—yeah, I’d want to know.”

“Ok,” Elias said, sitting back against the chair. “Tell me.”

“He was… consumed. By a—through—a Leitner.”

“A Leitner?” Elias was confused. “Like—Jurgen Leitner?”

“That’s what we called his books,” Martin explained. “The books from his collection.”

“The collection in the archives right now,” Elias asked.

“Yes.”

“And Allan was—consumed—by a book.”

“Well, they were different there—” Martin started to say, but he was cut off by a burst of laughter from Elias.

“Of course he was.” He continued to laugh, but his laughter became more strained. “That would be exactly how Allan would go in a world full of monsters.” He leaned forward, and the laughter came to a gradual stop as he rested his head in his hands, elbows supported by his knees.

“I’m—I’m sorry,” Martin said, knowing exactly how little it helped.

“No, no—it’s—it makes perfect sense. It just—does,” Elias said, before finally raising his head. “So, what do you think—I keep him away from the Leitner collection? That’s easy enough. He’s never been to the Institute in his life.”

Martin and Jon met each other’s eyes again.

“It’s never—it’s never simple,” Jon said slowly. “I don’t know if it means anything, but it was a long time ago. Certainly the entities had an interest in you there that they didn’t here—that they don’t. That can’t—that can’t be a bad thing. For you or Allan.”

“I’m sorry,” Elias said, sitting up again. He sighed, reached for his coffee, and resumed holding the mug with both hands. Martin realized it was the way a person holds a hot drink when trying to warm their fingers, even though there was no way it could be that hot anymore.

“No need to apologize,” Martin said. “It’s—it’s a lot.”

“Tell me—tell me about Jonah Magnus. And me. I want to hear it from you.”

Jon took a long sip of tea; Martin was glad he had made it for him. “You already know the basic story. What do you want to know about it?”

“Well, ok. Why me? Why did he choose me?”

“I suppose… I suppose you did have a certain profile. You had the right social status to run the Institute. Your—experience with Allan may have primed you in some way. And—” he stopped.

“What?”

“There was no one watching you. Well, no one who—”

“No one who cared.”

“No. No one who—who would—object too strongly if you changed. Slowly. Dedicated yourself to the Institute. Became Jonah.”

“I see.” Elias turned his cup in his hands.

“On the other hand—you weren’t the only one he could have chosen. Not at all. In a very real sense, you were just unlucky. In the wrong place.”

“Sure.” He continued to focus on his cup. “Was it—was it fast, at least? For me?”

Jon sighed. “No. No, it was—long. And slow. And—terrifying.”

Martin shuddered just a little at Jon’s words; he wondered if Jon hadn’t taken it a bit far, but Elias stayed perfectly calm.

“I see,” Elias said again. “Do you think—I know you said I was in the wrong place, but—is it possible that—maybe that’s not true? Maybe that was—my purpose?”

“Your—purpose?” Jon looked directly at Elias. “What—”

“I just think—I never understood why I went to the Institute in the first place. I mean—I kind of did, I thought I’d take a low-level research job, waste some time, do something that would have pissed off my father a bit—but I never really understood why. Not really. And I ended up doing everything he wanted anyway.”

“Well—I’m only guessing, but I think there must have been some sort of pull between the two dimensions, and maybe—”

“And maybe my real reason for existing was there, in that other dimension, to be—that. Some sort of useless, waiting husk that Jonah Magnus could crawl into and—”

“No,” Martin interrupted him. “That’s not—”

“But it makes sense. Just like Allan being eaten by a book. It would explain some things—why I couldn’t just walk away from all this. It would explain why I could never find anything else to go to. If that was why I exist, and it was finished years ago—”

“Jon, please—”

“No.” Jon’s face was pale, and there was an edge of controlled anger in his voice. “That’s not a thing. It is no one’s purpose to serve them. No one exists specifically to suffer and—”

They were interrupted by the sound of voices drifting through the foyer from the hallway; a moment later, the remaining houseguests appeared.

“Morning, everyone.” Sasha seemed very refreshed compared to the previous night; Melanie and Georgie, standing behind her and talking quietly to each other, seemed maybe slightly less refreshed. When no one responded, Sasha’s cheeriness faded slightly. “Is—is everything ok?”

Elias took a deep breath and sat up; smiling, he set his now-empty coffee cup down on the side table. “Everything’s fine. We’re fine.”

Georgie yawned, having missed the nuances of the exchange. “Well—we were wondering—had anyone thought about breakfast yet?”

“Yes and no,” Elias said, standing up. “I thought about the fact that I hadn’t thought about it until this morning. I have some stuff here if anyone’s starving, but we’re going to need to go out before too long. There are a few small places nearby, but I’m thinking we’re better off going to the Sainsbury’s in town and stocking up. I can—”

“Georgie and I can do that,” Melanie said. “You’re letting us stay here, we can at least pitch in and help out with food.”

In the end, Melanie, Georgie, and Sasha all ended up leaving for the store, with plans to bring back several days’ worth of food. After they left, Elias, façade crumpling, turned back toward Jon and Martin.

“I’m sorry for—that. Before they came in. It’s very easy for me to think too much.”

Martin waited to see if Jon would say something, but he seemed very lost in his own thoughts.

“It’s—it’s all right.” He was, again, very aware of how little these words helped.

“I hope you don’t mind if I take a moment.”

“No. Not at all.”

“Help yourself to—whatever. Anything.”

“All right. Um—thanks.”

Elias stuffed both hands into his pockets as he walked out of the room, back toward the direction of his bedroom. He left his empty coffee cup sitting on the side table next to Jon, who remained sullen and withdrawn. If Martin could have easily reached over to touch his arm, physically remind Jon of his presence without disrupting his thoughts too much, he would have, but the couch was too far away from the chair.

He was pretty sure Jon knew he was there, regardless.

He turned back to his cup of tea. It had gone quite cold by now, but he drank it anyway.

[qonqr]

I’m Still Here

Many of you may have been asking yourself where did Silver go? Is anyone still working on QONQR?  I admit I’ve been very quiet the past year and from the outside, it looks like not much is going on.

 Before I give my QONQR update I want to share a major accomplishment for me. I’m a little less of a hoarder than I was a month ago. As the 11th year anniversary approached, I decided I had too much old QONQR merchandise I needed to get in the hands of my players. However, I hate shipping. I should be the spokesperson for one of those shipping providers that make shipping easy because I hate doing it so much. Many of you know that the player Rayndel has an Etsy store where she sells QONQR merchandise with my permission. I sent her a 65lb (30kg) box of QONQR stuff. Coffee cups, T-shirts, dog tags and stickers. She is liquidating all of it for me. You can find it all right here.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/DragonHoardCrafts?section_id=19648949

 2020 and 2021 have been challenging for most people, and I’m no exception.  Both our kids are off to college. We are getting older and so are our extended families. Medical issues become more frequent for us and them. The stress of the pandemic doesn’t help. There are days when I can sit at my computer all day, and never write a line of code. Things are hard, they impact our ability to work as hard as we once did.

 A little over two weeks ago, QONQR hit its 11th birthday. The milestone passed quietly. I always spend time reflecting on how QONQR has changed my life and the stories you’ve shared about how it has changed yours. We’ve built something great together. Together we keep it going.

 Despite outward appearances. Things are happening at QONQR. I am working, albeit at an admittedly slow pace. I’ve let go of the stress of pushing QONQR as fast as I can, and instead I’m working on QONQR at a pace that is comfortable. It is important to me and my family that I end my day without being drained of all my energy by the awful decisions and quality that Apple and Google hand me every day.

 The next release of QONQR will include the following features. Many of these are mostly done, so I’m happy to share them, with the caveat that I have no idea when these will actually hit the store. Tons of testing is still needed.

 New Sync Lock Rules

 Sync lock will now last much longer, perhaps a week or even a month before it automatically expires. Along with that Sync Lock Protection will also last longer. The more times you gain sync lock protection, the longer it will last. We want to protect legitimate family members from daily locks, but also want to avoid situations where multi-scoper can get infrequent help to unlock an army of devices and accounts. In addition to longer locks, Sync lock may also hurt resource collection with your bases depending on how play testing goes.

 As with everything pertaining to multi-scoping, it is a blurry line between stopping those who play unfair, and those that are punished for inviting family and friends to play.

 Notifications

I have wanted push notifications for most of the past 10 years. In fact, we were very close to having them implemented about 5-7 years ago, but Google changed their push notification system. We used a unified messaging system created by Microsoft to push to both Google and Apple simultaneously. There were incompatibilities between the new and the old Google system for a long time. We gave up on trying to finish that implementation back then, waiting for Google and Microsoft to get their stuff fixed, and it was years before it became a priority again.

 I spent most of the past 3-4 months working on notification. This area is quite possibly one of the worst technical implementations I’ve had to work with in all my time working in software. For example, if you kill an iPhone application, you also remove the ability to get push notifications until the next time you start the app. It appears to be almost random when Android will decide to beep your phone when receiving a notification, and when it will be silently added to the notification center. For both Apple and Google, the documentation is frustratingly inaccurate or out of date. There are multiple different ways a notification can be processed depending on whether the application was terminated by the user, suspended by the operating system, in the background or in the foreground. Was the notification scheduled locally or sent from a remote server?  Honestly, as a developer, it would be difficult to purposely design a worse system.

 The good news is that I believe I have it working as good as it can possibly work. In the next release you will be able to enable or disable notifications as a whole, or selectively choose which notification you want to receive. Notifications will include: Atlantis, New Wire messages, Mentions in Chat and Forums, Bots and Bases Full.

 A Major Overhaul to the Scope

The changes to Sync Lock mandated that overheat have additional logic to control bots and energy regeneration. More significantly, if we want to have a notification that your scope is full, so I needed to know exactly when the scope would be full.  Currently your regeneration rate is based on the number of launches in the past hour. Launching a few seconds before or after an old launch rolls off that 1 hour mark can mess up the prediction of when you will be full again. To make that prediction accurately, without checking every minute to see, “Are my bots full now”, we changed the formula for when bots will be full, and scheduled a notification based on that time.

 The new regeneration is very similar to the old, but we predict you may get 1 or 2 more launches per hour. I’m hedging the formula towards more not fewer launches to make sure this is seen as a positive change.

 As long as we are messing with the scope, let’s talk about the Bot Regen Accelerator.  Hard core players have pointed out that players who launch on a timer, always hitting the “optimal” launch interval, don’t gain any advantage when purchasing this $0.99 upgrade. In the new release this upgrade will reduce your overheat level by 1 level and you will never be in maximum overheat due to deploying bots. The impact of the upgrade will be noticeable by everyone with this change. The name of this upgrade will probably change to “Scope Coolant” or “Heat Diffuser”. Send me your name ideas.

  Subscriptions, Ads and Elite Players

This is a change that probably won’t be in the next release, but it is something I’m thinking about before the end of the year. Apple has had a bug in their subscription logic for years. If you purchase a subscription on an iPhone, then get a new iPhone, you need to cancel the subscription in the App Store, then renew from your new phone. Apple keeps charging you, but the new device can’t see the subscription, so QONQR doesn’t know you are a subscriber. Why wouldn’t Apple fix this? Well Apple only takes half the percentage of a subscription after the first year. By making you start a new subscription, they can double their cut of the money you pay QONQR for the subscription. Another problem with subscriptions is that they result in many support requests because they honestly aren’t 100% reliable in either Apple or Google’s implementation.

 Many people know that earlier in the year, Apple introduced a change to advertising that blocks tracking. This is great in theory, and I get it as a consumer that I don’t like to be tracked, but this tracker blocking also blocks my ability to make any revenue on advertising. Why would I continue to give away free advertising?

 Elite players are those that have spent over $100 in QONQR over the life of their gaming experience. Over the years the benefits of being “Elite” have dwindled. Features have changed, and incentives have ended. I’d like to invest more time and energy to build features for players that continue to support QONQR but I think it makes more sense to lower the bar and make the benefits for “active” spenders.

 With these three things in mind, there is a chance that QONQR will move to a monthly “pass” option rather than a subscription. There seems to be a trend with games, where players buy a monthly pass that offers benefits, rather than using subscriptions. Subscriptions are buggy and in the case of Apple, a shady business practice.

 The same benefits available to subscribers would remain under the “pass”, but you would have to explicitly purchase the pass each month.  Secondary missions may move to the “pass” model with non-pass players getting only a handful of secondary missions per month. Ads would be completely removed from the app in this scenario since they no longer generate much revenue.

  What’s in the Plans for 2022?

 If you have read my blog over the years, you know that Apple and Google make it harder and harder to stop cheating (primarily multi-scoping).  It is being reported that Windows 11 will have the ability to run Android apps. I don’t know yet how that will impact QONQR, but I’m guessing it won’t be good. At best it will have no impact because I’ll be able to stop QONQR from running on Windows, at worst it could be a nightmare.

 March 2022 will mark the 10 year anniversary QONQR hit the Apple App Store. I can say with a high level of confidence that QONQR is now the longest running location-based, multi-platform, mobile game.

 Personally, I think 2022 needs to be a transformational year for QONQR. I’m not sure we can survive if the game doesn’t change. Apple, Google, and Microsoft have never cared about supporting mobile developers. Outrageous fees and abusive rules (recently acknowledged by the US Congress) have been part of the ecosystem from the start. There are dozens of apps that you can download from the official Google Play store that make it a simple tap to attempt to hack and manipulate an Android app, so players can do something the developer is attempting to prohibit. Once again Microsoft broke the tools I use to help secure the app from hackers, causing weeks of work to find a solution that would maintain the same level of security.  Apple and Google both purposely hide information from developers that would help them ensure real people are using their apps instead of bots. They do this under the façade of privacy, but ignore simple solutions that could maintain privacy, while helping developers ensure the integrity of how their apps are used.

 I’ve said for years, the only way to stop hackers and cheaters in QONQR is to make it irrelevant. That requires a major shift in gameplay. Together, you the players and me the developer, we need to decide if we want QONQR to have such a major shift. I don’t know what that shift would look like, but 2022 might be the year we figure it out.

 2020 was a year of making sure QONQR can survive. Through tons of work that year, massive software rewrites and updates, I was able to cut the cost of hosting QONQR. Today the cost of hosting QONQR all year, matches what we spent in three months during 2019. So far 2021 has been a year of slow work toward significant improvements to the game, but without major strategic impact to your daily playing. I’ve taken my time to avoid burn out. I’m enjoying the pace of my current work week. It has been good for my family and me.

 I’m not sure what 2022 will look like for QONQR yet, but I’m excited to try something new. Maybe we’ll break things, maybe we will create something ten times better than what we have had for the last decade. Time will tell. We’ll figure it out together.

 Thanks for keeping the lights on.

-Scott (aka Silver)

[argylemnwrites]

Fight or Flight - Chapter 8: Regret

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Heir (canon divergent from the end of book 2)

Word Count: ~3500

Rating: R (language only)

Summary: Thirty one hours since The Walker Absconding

Author’s Note: Shall we even pretend there is a posting schedule at this point? Oh well, another chapter has arrived. This series follows the Walkers, their friends, and Cordonia as a whole after they flee the country with their daughter during Barthelemy Beaumont’s attempted coup. To catch up on this series, check out it’s masterlist. (link can be found via my bio - sorry, Tumblr is once again not putting my posts with links in tag searches)

Drake popped his headphones in, trying not to wake up Bridget as he pulled open a video on his new phone. He was also supposed to be sleeping, at least theoretically. It’s why Riley had gone into the bathroom a couple of hours ago - so that he could turn off the lights and it would be relatively quiet. If he slept now, after all, he would be able to drive through the night. But he’d been wide awake for the past three hours, and at this point, he wasn’t even sure if attempting to sleep was worth it. So he just laid in the dark, his daughter sleeping peacefully next to him. Thank god she wasn’t doing that whole sleep reversal thing she’d been doing last month, where she’d been waking up maybe a dozen times over night. Her being a good sleeper was maybe the one saving grace here.

Today had just been stomach churning since he’d left to go track down a car and supplies. He hadn’t known whether to be grateful or freaked out when he’d returned to the hotel this afternoon, and Riley had a list of things they needed to do typed up on her phone. While he was glad she no longer seemed like she was about to sink into a pit of panic, seeing her planning with this much intensity was just… strange. He couldn’t think of a time she had ever made such a detailed list. She always just adapted to the situation at hand. She never tried to shape the situation herself.

But between what she’d found in her “fugitive research,” and what Hana had told them when she called after the hearing, they were starting to come up with a plan. Hana had told them that Rashad was going to be sworn in as regent tomorrow and that Olivia was technically “investigating” their location at the moment. That as soon as Rashad took on the powers of king-regent, Olivia was going to disclose that Bertrand and Maxwell hadn’t “found” them at Lythikos, so she’d sent Hana to “check” that they hadn’t returned to Valtoria, but that she hadn’t found them there either. They were all repeatedly calling their old phone numbers as well, hoping to make the story believable when Rashad undoubtedly opened an investigation into their disappearance with Bridget.

But all this meant that arrest warrants could be issued as soon as tomorrow morning. The hearing wouldn’t take long, and no one was sure if Rashad would see things as a sign of an attack on all three of them, or if he would correctly deduce that they had made a run for it and willingly left the country with Bridget. Either way, their financial and phone records were likely to be subject to review. And that meant they needed to not be anywhere near Ioannina by the time of the hearing.

The issue was, they wanted to withdraw more cash before the investigation froze their accounts. This meant using the same ATM they’d been using one more time, at 12:01 am when it was a new day and they could withdraw their daily max again without giving anyone a new location to investigate. Then, it would be time to get in the newly-purchased hatchback and drive on to Xanthi, the city they’d chosen as their next stop. Small enough that no one would predict it as their destination, big enough that Riley, a woman of East Asian heritage who only spoke English with a still-persistent New York accent wouldn’t be immediately noticeable. Drake liked that it was past Thessaloniki as well. No one would guess they drove hours further into Greece than a city with an American consulate.

So, in preparation for that drive, Drake needed to be sleeping. Even after several years out of Manhattan, Riley still hated driving, and in all honesty, the thought of her behind the wheel in a country where she couldn’t read the road signs was not reassuring to Drake in the slightest. He wanted to be the one solely responsible for the driving. But that meant he should be napping now. But how was he supposed to sleep at a time like this?

In the past day or so, he’d gone from a very stable existence to literally plotting how to hide out from law enforcement. He’d embezzled money and bribed a used car salesman to look the other way and not require him to register the car for official Greek or Cordonian papers. He’d left the only home he’d ever known, not knowing if he’d ever get to go back. How could anyone sleep after a day like that?

So instead of sleeping, he was watching news coverage of Liam’s speech that he’d given only a few hours earlier. Speculation was rampant as to both why the vote of no confidence was called and as to who the acting regent would be. Who his daughter’s regent would be. Because for the past few hours, the 10 month old sleeping on the mattress next to him had technically been the Queen-Regent of Cordonia.

It was a strange feeling, knowing that going forward, Bridget would be listed as Queen-Regent Bridget in history books, her rule starting today. Liam’s request had kind of always seemed like simple bookkeeping before. Although Liam told the press that Bridget would remain next in line for the throne even if he had children of his own, Drake had always kind of assumed they would readdress the whole situation when Liam actually got married. It had seemed highly likely to him that Bridget would end up just being a temporary placeholder, someone needed to convey stability of the Crown until Liam had a kid or two of his own. And even if she had remained next in line for the throne, Drake never really thought he’d see her take on the title. She was only supposed to rise to that position after Liam’s death.

It was probably something he should have put more thought into, to be honest. But he hadn’t, at least not anywhere near enough. And now there was no great way to undo it. She was the queen-regent now. Abdication for her, as a minor with the title, would be a nightmare at this point. Even if her title was just through the Conclave, the steps that they would have to take to change things now, the support they would need from the assholes who just voted against them and Liam, well… Drake wasn’t counting on that happening any time soon.

He opened up the CBC app to watch another site’s coverage of Liam’s speech, but his phone started buzzing in his hand. The number flashing across the screen had a Cordonian country code, but it wasn’t Olivia or Hana’s burner numbers, which they’d already added to their contact list. This had to be either Liam or Maxwell on a new number. Taking a deep breath, he popped out the headphones and swiped to accept the call.

“Hello?”

There was a brief pause before Liam’s voice came through the speaker. “Hello, Drake.”

Drake didn’t know what to say. It was his turn to speak, but what do you say to someone you’ve known almost your entire life when they lost everything? When you’d let them down? After too many seconds, he finally managed, “So, you… uh, got our new numbers?”

“Yes. Hana and Olivia provided me with them.”

“Right. Well… good. You, uh… you should have our numbers.” Drake ran his hand over his face. He couldn’t be more awkward about this if he tried.

“Indeed,” said Liam, after a beat, “So, how are you all doing?”

“We’re okay, I guess. How are you?”

The pause was longer this time. “It’s been a long couple of days, Drake.”

The weight of that sentence settled over Drake, the guilt he already carried multiplying in that moment. “I’m so sorry, Liam.”

All Liam gave in response was a little hum of acknowledgement, so Drake kept speaking, trying to find some words that would make this better, that would make Liam see how sorry he was.

“We just couldn’t wait around, you know? We didn’t know how things were going to go down, and when Barthelemy started talking about taking Bridget, we couldn’t just risk that, and so we had to do something, right? And I know this leaves you in a tricky spot, but you’ve gotta know, I wish… I don’t know, that we weren’t doing this to you, I guess? But… it’s just fucked up all around, isn’t it?” Drake knew he was rambling, that he'd basically spewed out a whole bunch of garbage, but he just didn’t know what else to do.

“What do you want me to say, Drake? You’re right; the decisions you and Riley made have made things much more complicated for me. Are you looking for me to say that I don’t blame you? That I support this course of action?”

“What else were we supposed to do?” Drake asked. He could hear his voice raising slightly, and he glanced down, checking that he hadn’t woken Bridget, but she was still passed out.

“I told you back when you were trying to have a child that if it ever became too much, to inform me, and we would reserve the proclamation.”

“Are you really trying to tell me that in the middle of everything that was happening yesterday, it would have been a good time to pull you aside and ask to undo all that shit?”

Liam let out a sigh before he answered, “It seems like that would have been preferable to you deciding to commit treason.”

Drake slammed his eyes shut, trying to keep his temper in check. Liam was already dealing with a lot, and he didn’t want to make things worse, but his words were so frustrating right now. “We didn’t even know if you would have the power to undo any of it after that vote.”

“You could have at least waited until we knew the results of that initial hearing. At that point-”

“What if the justice had decided you had no power last night instead of today?” Drake interrupted. He saw Riley coming out of the bathroom and back into their room. She obviously must have heard him on the phone. He just shook his head, trying to reassure her as he kept talking to Liam. “That’s a big fucking gamble to ask of us, Liam.”

“Fine, then some middle-ground or compromise still would have probably been better. You have to know how ill-conceived this scheme you’ve agreed to is, Drake.”

“What would you suggest, then? Sitting around, just waiting to see if we got to keep our kid?”

“Of course not. But if you get arrested and extradited back here, you will absolutely lose custody of your daughter. I would urge you to consider that fact. Additionally, Rashad is not going to be interested in becoming some sort of surrogate parent to Bridget over the next few months.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? That the man you have lined up as my kid’s regent has no interest in caring for her?” Riley mouthed “What?” at him from across the room, but Drake just waved his hand and shook his head again. He’d have to fill her in later.

“My point, Drake, is that Rashad would likely be very amenable to you and Riley staying with Bridget in the role as her caretakers and-”

“Stop. I’m not going to listen to that shit, okay? You know that’s not the same. You fucking know it, Liam.”

There was a rough sigh before Liam spoke again. “Fair enough. But you have to understand that you have put me in an awful position. And I’m just trying to find a way to minimize the damage caused by your selfishness here.”

“How is looking out for my wife and kid selfish?” Bridget squirmed slightly next to him as his voice climbed louder yet again. Riley must have noticed, because she scurried over and tucked her against her chest, muttering soothing words against the top of her head, trying to keep her from waking up.

“Did you think about how fleeing the country would impact anyone? Your citizens in Valtoria who no longer have a regional leader? The people of Cordonia who no longer have an heir to the throne? Your friends who have advocated for you and your family time and time again? No. You just left. You only thought of yourselves. That is the dictionary definition of selfish, Drake.”

“I’m sorry, but my family comes first. This isn’t fucking up for debate.”

“Well, some of us don’t have that luxury.”

Both Drake and Liam were silent for several seconds. Drake took a shaky breath, trying to get his emotions back under control. “Liam. I’m sorry. I really am. I never wanted to do this to you, and I know you are left cleaning up the pieces here, but I am not going to come back just for Bridget to get trapped inside the country and possibly taken from us.”

“Drake, don’t be so-”

“She’s queen-regent now, so no way we don’t get stopped at the border if we came back and tried to leave again, right? In fact, I bet we wouldn’t be allowed outside the palace with her, and that’s if we’re allowed to be alone with her at all-”

“Now you’re just being dramatic-”

“Am I? Because to me, it feels like you want me to come back and hang my hat on the hopes that Rashad needs a couple of nannies. I get the risks we are taking here. But at least we have a shot of staying together as a family this way.”

“Look, I understand that this is upsetting and frustrating. I’m upset and frustrated, too. All I want is to try and create a united front here. If we are fractured and divided, it is worse for everyone in the long run. We all want what’s best for Bridget.”

“You aren’t part of any ‘we’ here. She’s not your kid. You don’t get a say.”

The silence on the other end of the line was awful. Riley climbed onto the bed and leaned up against the headboard. One arm still held Bridget tight to her chest, but her free hand snaked behind him and rubbed soothing circles between his shoulder blades. It just did little to calm him. He didn’t know if more of his anger was directed at Liam, for presuming he had any say here, or at himself, for getting defensive when he was the one who had hurt Liam and put him in this position.

“I have never interfered in any parenting decisions you or Riley have made with regards to Bridget. In fact, I have given you both an unprecedented amount of freedom and control, knowing that it was an unusual situation. But it seems to me like we have nothing further to say to each other at the moment. You are unwilling to discuss the bigger picture here.”

“Liam, don’t-” Drake started, but Liam just kept talking.

“I understand why you’ve taken this course of action. But it is apparent that your priorities are only your daughter, whereas I need to focus on Cordonia as a whole. So, I think at this point we both need to just devote ourselves to those tasks and not worry about each other.”

It was a dismissal. A line in the sand. Whatever inner circle Liam had, Drake was no longer a part of it. He let out a sigh and swallowed roughly. “I am sorry, Liam. I just don’t know what you expect me to do here.”

“I don’t expect anything of you, Drake. You should just do what you feel is best for your family, and I will do what’s needed for our country.”

“Come on, it doesn’t have to be this way. I still want to help-”

“No offense, but a couple of fugitives are not likely to be a great resource to me at this point. This isn’t a punishment, Drake; it’s just the reality. We’ve both made the choices we needed to make, and now we both need to deal with the consequences. I need to remain focused on campaigning to regain my title, and I’m not going to have the time or energy to devote to aiding your run.”

“I’m not asking for your help, dammit. I just want-”

“What do you want, Drake? You don’t get to have this both ways.”

“I want… I want us still to be friends.”

He heard a heavy sigh before Liam spoke again. “Of course we are still friends, Drake. We just are headed in separate directions at this time, it would seem. You now have this number, though. You can reach me if you need to, and I will do the same.”

“Liam, I-”

“I wish you and your family the best; I really do. And if you change your mind, you can come find us in Lythikos.”

Drake closed his eyes. There was no salvaging this. Liam was boxing him out and closing the door. He was pretty sure having Liam screaming at him would have stung less. “Alright, I get it. Good luck with everything, okay?”

“Same to you. I really hope you don’t regret your decisions here and that you all can remain safe.” And with that, Liam ended the call.

Drake placed his phone on the bed and leaned forward, dropping his head into both of his hands. He swallowed several times, trying to break up the lump in his throat. He was very aware that although Riley seemed to be in a better spot than she was the day before, watching him cry over Liam was not going to instill much confidence. No need to make things more unsettled.

After a few moments, he took a deep breath and sat back up. Riley was staring at him, head cocked and eyes full of worry. He just shrugged and shook his head. There wasn’t much to say, really.

“Here,” Riley said, shifting forward and passing Bridget to him.

“I don’t want to wake her,” he muttered, but Riley continued, sliding Bridget into his arms before leaning against his shoulder, her hand slipping along his neck and her fingers threading through his hair.

“She’ll fall asleep in the car,” she said. Drake watched as his daughter blinked up at him, her face scrunched up like she was going to start screaming, but she relaxed and started to drift back to sleep when he pulled her against his chest and tucked his head on top of hers.

He just held her for maybe a minute, not saying anything. Riley was quiet as well, her fingers continuing to trace little patterns across the base of his scalp. Eventually, she tilted her head against his shoulder and whispered, “Do you want to talk about it or not?”

“No,” he breathed out, “not… not now.”

He felt her nodding, and her other hand settled on his knee. “Okay. Thank you, by the way.”

“Walker, it’s-”

“You don’t need to say it’s nothing. And I know you don’t want to talk about it now. So just… thank you.”

Neither of them said anything for a long while. They just sat there, trying to brace themselves for the reality of the next 24 hours. They would officially be under investigation and likely be charged with kidnapping of the queen-regent. This was the point of no return, far more than any decisions they’d made up until this point.

Oddly enough, Drake felt more confident in their plan than he had even before. As upsetting as his talk with Liam was, it had somehow helped him see why Riley was so reluctant to rely on anyone outside their family. Something about hearing Liam discuss the risks they would be facing in Cordonia as if they were nothing. As if living under the same roof as Bridget should be enough. As if they had time to wait for things to unfold. Well, it made it very clear that they saw what could be compromised and what couldn’t very differently.  

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, but eventually Riley sat up next to him. “Did you get any sleep at all?” she asked as he turned his head to look at her.

“No, not really.”

“Well, we better get going then so we can get some coffee before we hit the road.” And with that she slid off the bed and started gathering their few bags of belongings.

She was right. It was time to move on. So he gently clicked Bridget into her new car seat and did one last scan of the room, making sure they weren’t leaving anything they needed behind.

“You ready?” Riley asked.

“Yeah, Riley. Let’s go.”

Permatag:  @walkerswhiskeygirl   @riley--walker  @bebepac @ravenpuff02 @oofchoices @octobereighth @drakewalker04 @kimmiedoo5  @mfackenthal  @thequeenofcronuts  

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir: @ao719 @mskaneko @katedrakeohd @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @axwalker @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @dcbbw @yaushie

Drake x MC: @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria  @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @notoriouscs  @drakesensworld @drake-colt-lover-99

Fight or Flight: @masterofbluff @burnsoslow @bobasheebaby @shz256 @iaminlovewithtrr​

[sweetcathedral]

Note: The reblogged continuations looked weird on phone format, so here’s a cleaner one with a link for Part 1. Link for Part 3 will be updated here tomorrow!

⚠️: Reader’s discretion is advised. This chapter contains forms of dubious consent and explores the theme of sex being used as self-harm.

They sat together in comforting silence, thinking of nothing but the serenity of having each other by their sides.

“Hey, Tsukki.”

“Mm?”

“Just message me next time you feel like sleeping around.”

Contemplating silence. Maybe what he said was stupid, or Tsukki had fallen asleep, or he’ll be met with another cold—

“Okay.”

Suna blinked, taken back by surprise. “What?”

“I said okay.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean ‘oh’?”

“No, I just—I thought you’d be opposed to it.”

“They’re not as … good … as you,” Tsukki mumbled.

Suna grabs his face tilting it up.

“Assho—!”

“Say that again.”

“No!” Tsukki shakes his head out of his hand, so that he could turn around and face him properly. “Just because I’m sleeping with you doesn’t mean I like you, okay? Pleasure. We’re only using each other for pleasure, okay?”

Suna knows.

“I know. But I couldn’t quite catch what you said before, you put water in my ears.”

“I said, they’re not as good as you.”

“Not as good as me in—?” He baited Tsukki to fill in the blank.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

“Say it, or I’ll drown you,” Suna said over Tsukki’s voice.

“They’re—” Tsukki’s ears were turning red again, “they’re not … they’re not as good as you in bed! There I said it!”

Suna burst out laughing. Tsukki kept splashing him to calm him down, but he was having too much fun poking at Tsukki after he had admitted how good Suna was compared to the other guys.

They finished up their bath in silence, Tsukki fell asleep while they were in the tub, so Suna finished cleaning him up first. After dressing Tsukki in clean clothes and putting him to bed in the spare bedroom, he went back to the bathroom to finish his bath with a quick shower.

Finally alone, he let out a loud sigh. “Fuck,” he mutterd under his breath.

Suna knows. He knows what he’s in denial of, he knows that Tsukki likes Kuroo, he knows that Tsukki would never choose him, that he’s just a rebound to pass time as Tsukki gets his shit together. I know, I know, I know I know I know I know I know. I. Know. But this relationship was better than nothing. He didn’t care what he had to sacrifice, as long as it kept Tsukki from spiraling out of control. And if it costs him to break a relationship to make Tsukki happy, he’d do it in a heartbeat, because that’s all he wanted Tsukki to be. To be happy.

“Oi, Suna!”

Tsukki waved his hand over his face. “What are you dozing off for?”

“Nothing, just thinking about what to have for dinner later on.”

“Hinata, Kenma and Atsumu are trying to invite us for korean bbq tonight. You coming?”

“Sure, I’m free.”

A couple of weeks have passed since he dropped by Kenma’s place to hand Atsumu a package Osamu needed to get to him urgently. He had planned to give it to Tsumu as soon as he saw him, but everytime he did, the package wasn’t with him in person. Osamu kept reminding him to the point of pestering paranoia that he ended up at Kenma’s place in the middle of the night, so that he could finally sleep in peace and not have nightmares of Osamu killing him for not delivering the package in a timely manner. Thank God Kenma allowed him to stay over. According to Atsumu, the package wasn’t even a big deal as Osamu made it out to be. Again, Suna got caught in the twins’ antics and bickering over the phone. The package in question wasn’t physically that big (looking at it from the outside), but when he caught Atsumu opening it and holding it in his hand the physical appearance didn’t matter anymore. Suna had delivered an engagement ring to Atsumu on behalf of Osamu, not knowing the story behind it and not caring to know it. Not a big deal my ass.

Once Suna’s paranoia disappeared, he was finally able to resume back to his daily life routines. Except, this day also wasn’t part of his routine.

“Where are you taking us?” he questioned Tsukki to remind him again.

“Shopping for new shoes.”

“Couldn’t you do that alone?”

“Yeah, but then I won’t have an excuse to get out of conversations with fans that I bump into. I’ve been bumping into them almost everyday thanks to Kenma’s Portugal vlog with Hinata, and his fans have been asking me to do another one with Kenma too.”

Tsukki grimaced, while looking at the maps app on his phone, leading the way to the store he wanted to checkout.

It’s true Kenma’s fans go overboard about wanting to know what goes on with everyone that appears in his videos, but as long as they don’t force themselves onto them, then it’s fine.

“Hey, could you guys be Tsukishima Kei and Suna Rintarou? Volleyball players, right?” A cheery woman walked up to them, coupled by two of her friends waiting close by to confirm their curiosity.

“Yeah, you watch our games?” Suna replied with a smile, covering for Tsukki. “Sorry, he’s a bit shy.”

“Oh that’s okay, we didn’t mean to take up your time,” she clarified hurriedly, “we just wanted to know if it was okay to get a picture with you guys?” She timidly asked, perked with anticipation.

“We don’t mind,” Suna kicked Tsukki’s foot, still keeping his facade on. “We have a bit of time to spare for you guys, right Tsukki?”

A harmless response, yet calculative in a polite way to let their fans know that they’re only free for the picture and nothing more.

Tsukki fidgets behind Suna then reluctantly steps out, properly greeting his fans.

One of the girls tried holding the phone in an angle that could get them all together, but Tsukki and Suna were too tall.

“Here, how ‘bout I hold it for us,” Suna offered, winking at the woman, which sent her into a flustered expression. “Okay! Ready, one, two—”

“Three!” They ended the chant in unison.

Once they confirmed their satisfaction with the picture, they bowed their goodbyes to each other.

“What’d you do to make her friend blush like that?”

“Fan service.”

“Not scared that you could’ve turned her into a stalker?”

“Don’t need to be scared. Stalkers start their day stalking, she started the day with her friends not knowing they’d bump into us.”

“That’s some deduction.”

“I’ve dealt with a few stalkers before, so it’s only natural to know so I could avoid it in the future.”

“Scary.”

“Is it around here?” Suna looked around for the shoe store Tsukki had on his phone, swiftly changing a conversation he didn’t want to get into details about.

The thought of it sent a shiver down his spine.

“Ah, over—here.”

“Tsukki?”

“You guys are here too?”

Just as they spotted the store, Suna and Tsukki bumped into Hinata, Kageyama and the woman Suna saw in the gossip articles, Kuroo’s girlfriend.

“Tsukishima, Suna … what the hell?” Kageyama narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Kageyama wanted to improve his foreign language skills with her, but we also planned to buy shoes afterwards, so we met at Kuroo’s place and now we’re finishing the day off with shoes.” Hinata rambled, explaining their day to Tsukki.

“No, I wasn’t—I didn’t mean it literally.”

“Dumbass,” Kageyama snickered.

“Huh? But you asked.”

“That’s,” Tsukki sighed in defeat, “nevermind.” He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh, by the way, this is Kuroo’s girlfriend.” He introduced you to Suna.

“Hello,” Suna bowed.

You bowed in return.

For someone who’s usually sneering at almost everyone, Tsukki was composed, unable to look anyone in the eye.

“We can come back later on if you want,” Suna spoke to him in a low voice.

“Why? We’re already here.”

Suna and Tsukki followed behind the trio into the store.

What Suna could tell from Tsukki wasn’t anger, jealousy or sadness, he was uncomfortable and awkward—withdrawn—maybe because everyone else seemed to get along with her and Tsukki didn’t know how. The one thing they had in common was their feelings towards Kuroo, from what Suna can presume.

“Are you gonna shop for shoes too?” You asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

“Nah, I only came ‘cause of Tsukki.”

Out of the five of them, you and Suna stood by waiting for the three to pick their shoes as they made snarky remarks at each other.

“Are you finding the stay okay?” Suna picked the conversation up.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” your feet fidget. “I’m finally able to take a well needed vacation after working non-stop for a year.”

“What do you work as?”

A question not asked out of curiosity, only to keep the conversation from dying in awkward silence.

“Artist, specifically a painter.”

“Nice. I never thought of Kuroo as the artsy type, so how’d you guys meet?”

“Through Kenma,” your eyes softened. “We were able to meet thanks to him.”

Kenma? “Oh, you knew Kenma first?”

“Yeah, although I only met Kuroo in person after a few years of being friends with Kenma,” you nervously laughed.

A few years? Suna thought back to what he knew from the articles, but he never thought about the extent of your relationship with Kenma. Your connection with him only surfaced when the rumours between you and Kuroo were making headlines. You also never appeared in any of his videos, nor were you ever mentioned by Kenma himself. So who were you to Kenma?

“Did you meet Kenma as a fan?”

“No, I actually didn’t know he was a pro gamer until afterwards.”

“Oh?”

“We met at E3, and I guess Kenma came as a shareholder instead of what he’s known for.”

“So you game at the side too.”

“No, not as seriously as Kenma. I went as a shareholder as well.”

“Hey! You guys wanna head to the bbq place now?” Hinata interrupted.

Kageyama and Tsukki trailed behind him, looking satisfied with their new purchases.

“Oh, I’m heading back for the day. I still haven’t prepared Kuroo’s dinner and he’s working overtime today,” you politely declined.

“Aw, boo,” Hinata pouted.

“Sorry, maybe another time. I still have a few more months before I leave.”

Hinata continued making excuses for Kuroo to starve, so that you could join them for the bbq, but you seemed to purposefully be avoiding hanging out with them.

“Do you not like us?!”

“That’s not what I’m saying!” You yelled back at Hinata. “I’m saying that I’ll look like a whore if I’m the only girl there!”

“Then I’ll be a whore with you!”

“That’s not how it works!”

“Oi, if she said no it’s no! And that’s Kuroo’s girlfriend you’re trying to ask out!” Kageyama smacked him upside the head.

After Tsukki broke the fight off, they decided to drop you off at the station. Suna felt disappointed at the thought of not getting to know you better, there were still questions he wanted to ask, but at least he got to see how the others were around you. Although, Tsukki had different reasons for being the way he was.

Hinata and Kageyama didn’t even talk about you behind your back, once you were gone. Kageyama was excitedly going over his new phrases and vocabulary with Hinata, and talked about how easy it was to learn from you, like a kindergartener talking about their first day of school. On the other hand, Hinata was still annoyed that you weren’t able to come, but he was already planning where and whom to hangout with next. Their excitement expressed how comfortable and happy they are to be around you, except for Tsukki.

Tsukki neither expressed his like or dislike of you, not that Suna knew anything about you, yet. He barely got to know you, except for the fleeting, but daunting, mention of Kenma. A thought he’ll overthink before he sleeps in the nights to come.

They arrived at the korean bbq place and found Kenma and Atsumu at their reserved table at the back corner of the restaurant, right by the washroom.

“Took you guys long enough,” Atsumu scooted over, making room for the rest.

“Hinata was begging her to join us and wouldn’t let go until we dropped her off at the station,” Kageyama exasperated.

Kenma turned to Hinata, putting his phone in his pocket. “Someone’s attached.”

“But she’s fun to be around and it’s not like she’ll be here for long,” Hinata sulked.

“You can see her another time. It’s not like she’s gone forever.”

“You can see her any time. I don’t have that much money like you to be saying it that easily.”

It’s true. Out of everyone seated at the table, Kenma was the only one rich enough to say he could travel easily, despite them being pro athletes. Must be nice to be that free.

Time flew by fast as they got lost in their conversations and topics, blissfully filling their stomachs with good food and light beer.

Suna couldn’t help but overthink about the way your name sounded coming from Kenma’s mouth, but they had suddenly stopped mentioning you after a quick change of topic, thanks to Atsumu. There was no mention about the ring Osamu had been pestering Suna to give to him, so he had assumed that it could be fake, although the conversation the twins had over the phone sounded serious.

Tsukki was seated across from him, intently listening in to Atsumu and Hinata rambling on about their sponsorships and what to do in their upcoming fans meeting, while scrolling through his phone. Placid as usual, but nothing out of the ordinary … though he can feel Tsukki brushing his foot up his ankle under the table in a discreet manner. He glances up to Tsukki, nonchalantly keeping a poker face, blending in with the right reactions to the conversation. Suna knows he was the one who proposed this type of relationship first, but his intentions weren’t the same as what Tsukki is probably thinking of.

Suna gets up from the table, naturally Atsumu and Kageyama adjust themselves to make room for Suna to get out with ease. “I’ll be back,” he tells them.

He takes a trip to the washroom and heads out the back door of the restaurant for a smoke. And of course, after a while, Tsukki followed him outside.

“You free tonight?” Tsukki asked in a mellow tone, lightly tapping Suna’s feet with his.

“Again?”

“So you’re not free?”

Everything clicked in Suna’s head. It all made sense now, and he was right to keep Tsukki close to him by proposing this type of relationship. Whenever Suna turned him down to fuck, it’s not that Tsukki agreed with his answer, he just found another way to get what he wanted by calling someone else. The options Tsukki keeps in his phone is just his last resort, if things didn’t go the way he wanted them to. The only time Tsukki wants to fuck is when something related to Kuroo comes up; the point where he wants to forget the most. How could Suna not notice after all this time they spent together? Tsukki never talked about how he really felt about anything. This whole time Suna thought that Tsukki was getting better, but he had actually gotten worse. Maybe this relationship wasn’t a good idea in the first place, but Suna didn’t want to risk going back to how it was in the past, especially with how their relationship is now.

[...]

[Part 3]

[sambergscott]

Lights Out

Summary: The elevator jolts and the lights flicker, before plunging them into total darkness. There's a Brooklyn-wide power outage, they're stuck in the precinct elevator and Amy is claustrophobic AF. Then her water breaks.

Based on this amazing (!!!) s7 finale theory by @luna-minerva​. Thank you so much for letting me turn that into this. I really, really hope you love it. 

She has a birth plan written out by her sixth month of pregnancy detailing her preferences for labor — dimmed lights, calming music, an epidural, Jake by her side at all times — laminated in the apartment, her go bag (already pre-packed in their family friendly sedan) and her everyday purse. She sent copies to her doctor, both their parents and Captain Holt, printed one for Jake to keep at work and saved a digital copy in the Notes app on both their phones. Just in case.

(“Single spaced, double sided: Santiago Style,” Jake grins when she hands over the final draft.

“Of course. It’s an important document about the most important moment of our lives. I want everything to go smoothly.”)

And for most of her pregnancy, it does. She sends him out for pierogis, potato pancakes and hot chocolate most nights, cries over every car commercial on TV and waddles around the apartment making sure everything is perfect for when the baby arrives. The doctor assures her that they’re both healthy, but she should take an early maternity leave, given the stresses of her job.

She survives for one day before she’s back at the precinct, prompting several raised eyebrows and whispers from around the bullpen. Ignoring all of them, she hitches her purse onto her shoulder, lifts her head, and marches determinately to her old desk.

“FOMOW?” Jake guesses with an amused smile.

“It’s not FOMOW,” she huffs in annoyance. “I just finished organising the nursery and since I was passing the precinct, I figured I’d come visit my husband, if that’s OK with you.”

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” he holds his hands up. “I’ve missed having a beautiful lady to look up at when my paperwork gets boring.” He wiggles his eyebrows playfully. “I suppose you’ll do.”

She rolls her eyes, sitting down and trying to make herself as comfortable as possible, a difficult task when you’re as big as a whale and your back has been aching all day.

“Peralta,” Holt’s new assistant barks as he leaves Holt’s office, “you missed some signatures on this report.” He drops it on top of all the other open case files, candy wrappers and clutter on Jake’s desk, a welcome change from the way Gina would turn their work into paper airplanes and fly them across the bullpen. As Jake starts scribbling his name, Holt’s assistant notices Amy. “Can I help you, ma’am?”

“Oh, I’m OK. I work here. Well, I used to work here. I’m on maternity leave.”

“Of course,” he nods, realisation spreading across his face. “You’re Sergeant Santiago. Captain Holt mentions you constantly.”

“He does?” She clutches her heart. “Jake, did you hear that? Holt mentions me.”

He mouths “dork” and she sticks her tongue out at him.

“So when’s the baby due? You look ready to pop any day now.”

“Two weeks,” Jake answers on her behalf, sensing danger. The ‘ready to pop’ comment has been driving her crazy for weeks. She is well aware of her size and does not need perfect strangers reminding her. She’s pregnant, not a contestant on America’s Next Top Model. She’s supposed to be big. He shoves the signed documents into Holt’s assistant’s hands and glances apprehensively back at his wife. “You OK?”

“Mm-hmm.” She plasters on a brave face. “Can’t believe I’m saying this but I actually miss Gina.”

Jake snorts and presses play on CCTV footage of a robbery.

She twists her engagement ring on her finger, braids the ends of her hair and straightens a pile of folders on the desk. She is something of a workaholic and not being able to do anything is torture. “Any cool cases you’re working on?” She asks Jake, because what else are husbands for if not living vicariously through their work while on maternity leave?

“Hipster coffee shop got broken into last night. The owner was devastated that she had to drink Starbucks this morning like the rest of us instead of her fancy $8 million gold infused coffee blend from Outer Mongolia.”

“At least she gets to drink coffee,” Amy responds snarkily.

“Worth it though,” he grins. “And I’ll be your personal in-home barista once this baby is out.”

“Thanks, babe. You’re the sweetest.” She rounds their desks to give him a chaste kiss (she may not be in work but they are still at work), when something catches her eye on the screen. She instructs him to rewind the video, pointing out that the intruder has the same bone structure and blonde hair as the owner behind the counter.

Jake gasps. “It was an inside job!”

A failing business tries to scam the insurance company; it’s a tale as old as time.

He grabs his phone, gun and jacket in a rush to arrest the owner before they skip town.

“Can I come with you?”

“What?”

“I want to come with you. I’m the one who solved the case.”

“You’re pregnant. You can’t.”

“I’ll walk ahead of you, pretend I’m just a normal customer,” she pleads. “You know I’m good at going undercover. Remember Dora?”

“Of course I remember Dora, Johnny loved Dora, but this is different. It’s too dangerous.”

“They own a hipster coffee shop, Jake,” she deadpans. “They’re not going to hurt a pregnant lady. I’m FOMOWing so bad, I just want to be there.”

“Ames-.”

“Please, Jake,” she kicks her persuasion tactics up a few notches, pulling out the doe eyes and pout that she knows he can’t resist.

“Fine,” he concedes before she starts crying and playing the “I’m having your baby” card. “You can come. But if anything dangerous goes down, you have to get out of there straight away. You can’t get involved.”

“Deal.” She shakes his hand firmly (she took a refresher seminar a few months ago) and retrieves her purse from her old desk, following him to the elevator like old times. Peralta and Santiago off to take down bad guys (and look good doin’ it). Of course, there will be no actual taking down of bad guys nine months pregnant, although she could do it if she wanted to, she’s definitely felt the urge to kick Charles in the shin whenever he brings them disgusting foods or tries to kiss her belly.

Just being there is enough for now.

She speeds up, reaching the elevator before him and pressing the down button first. She smirks at him over her shoulder and steps inside when the doors open. Despite being married and expecting a kid together, their competitive edge has never wavered. In the last few months alone, they’ve bet on the sex of the baby, who would cry first when they heard the heartbeat, what fruit or vegetable their baby is that week and who can put a diaper on a football fastest. Bets are the cornerstone of their relationship — the original bet sparking Jake’s realisation that he liked her liked her — and Amy can’t wait for their kids to join in when they’re old enough.

(Kids, plural, because for some reason, even after difficulty conceiving and morning sickness and FOMOW, she would still go through pregnancy all over again. They don’t quite want eight like her parents, but at least one more would be nice).

Rosa’s black boots stop the elevator doors closing and she squeezes through the gap. “Got an early lunch date,” she explains.

“Oh,” Amy says, sharing A Look™️ with Jake. Rosa hasn’t dated anyone since Jocelyn dumped her, choosing to be on her own for a while since she hasn’t really had time alone to process her almost marriage to Pimento, prison and coming out. Repairing her relationship with her parents has been her #1 priority and this is the first Amy’s heard about her seeing someone new. “Is it... serious?” She tries not to push too hard because otherwise Rosa will just close off (it’s pointless asking about names or jobs or appearance), which is hard because she just wants her to be as happy as she is with Jake, but also knows from past experience that Rosa will eventually reveal the information when she’s ready.

“It could be,” she responds vaguely. “I like her, but she’s a doctor so we both work way too much.”

“Well, I hope it works out. You deserve someone really great.”

Rosa pulls her in for a tight, unexpected hug. “Thanks, Santiago,” she murmurs, her voice cracking as if she’s about to cry.

The elevator jolting and lights flickering ruins the moment. After a few terrifying seconds, it stops completely and they are plunged into darkness.

Amy’s blood runs cold, panic filling her lungs. She’s had this nightmare a million times, having suffered with claustrophobia ever since her brothers locked her in a closet as a kid.

She hears Jake’s “cool, cool, cool, cool, cool” and Rosa saying that it’s probably a power cut, but she can’t speak. She can’t do anything but think about how they’re never going to get out and how the squad will have to send them food supplies through the safety hatch in the ceiling and how they’ll have to raise their baby in this tiny metal box, teaching her to count using the buttons to the different precinct floors.

She feels pain, a fun combination of Braxton Hicks that she’s been having for weeks and panic attack. She tries to focus on her breathing and not on the four walls closing in on her. When the breathing techniques fail, she focuses on Jake.

Kind, funny, handsome Jake. Her husband, but more than that, her best friend. She concentrates on the toothpaste stain on the front of his shirt, his unruly curls that she loves so much, the ring on his finger glinting in the light from Rosa’s phone. His own phone is pressed to his ear and she can only hear one side of the conversation but it’s clear that he’s debriefing Holt.

“- Me, Amy, Rosa -"

“- We’re fine, just stuck -"

“- How long?  -”

“Shit.” He hangs up, pocketing his phone. “Power’s out everywhere. Our back-up generators haven’t kicked in, something about air in the fuel system. The fire department are busy with the blackout and we’re apparently not an emergency, so. We could be in here a while.”

“Shit,” Rosa echoes his sentiment.

“Yeah. You OK, Ames?” He turns his attention to her.

She shakes her head meekly.

“Claustrophobic?” Rosa guesses, remembering her reaction to being locked in the trunk when she was trying to get her and Gina to face their fears.

She nods.

“We can play Celebrity to distract ourselves. I’ll go first. He’s the greatest actor -.”

“Bruce Willis,” Amy and Rosa say at the same time.

“Thought I’d give you an easy one to start,” he blushes.

Amy almost laughs despite the overwhelming fear. She loves him, Bruce Willis obsession and all. She takes a few seconds to think of someone good. Then, “They’re in - oh - water -.”

“They’re in water?” Rosa repeats, confused. “You mean like Jaws?”

“Or Finding Dory?” Jake adds. He made her watch the movie with him after Pimento’s Memento disease and now wants to buy a fish and call it Dory, even though he famously killed her fish back when they were dating. “Is it Ellen?”

“No, my water.”

Jake and Rosa both look down in horror. She buries her face in her hands. As if this situation could not get any worse.

“At least this classifies us as an emergency now,” Jake quips.

Rosa does Amy a favour and punches him in the arm.

--

They notify Holt — who in turn notifies the FDNY — and Jake sends a text to both their parents.

Rosa climbs onto Jake’s shoulders and opens the safety hatch so Charles can lower a care package of towels and bottled water into the elevator.

(He also delivers Sour Candies, upon Jake’s request).

Terry tries to pull the doors apart, but even his tree trunk arms are no match for the heavy metal.

Amy breathes through her contractions, stubbornly determined to stick to her birth plan and give birth in the hospital.

Her body, however, has other ideas.

“Four minutes apart now,” Rosa announces. She punches a wall out of frustration. “Where the hell are those firefighters?”

“They’re not going to make it in time,” Jake responds, equally frustrated. “Camila warned me months ago that Santiago babies come early, fast and are always boys.”

“This baby is half-Peralta and a girl. She might be the exception.” Amy takes a sip of water, ignoring the look of disbelief on Jake’s face.

“Diaz, you went to med school, tell my wife that this baby isn’t going to wait.”

Rosa opens her mouth to speak but Amy cuts her off.

“Diaz, tell my husband that the contractions aren’t even that painful and we have time.”

--

As it turns out, they don’t have time at all.

She’s feels pressure, the urge to push, and not even the glug glug glug of Rosa’s babbling brook sounds can calm her down.

“I do not want to give birth in the precinct elevator,” she cries.

Jake, on back rubbing duty, exchanges nervous glances with Rosa. She’s fully dilated and with the fire department still busy tackling other emergencies, this is happening. Right here. Right now.

“You know, it’s actually kind of perfect, Ames. We first met outside this elevator, right? And I kept the elevator doors open to let you win the Jimmy Jabs because of my massivecrush on you. And then you let me win to save our car. We fell in love in this precinct. It’s where we had our first for realz kiss, where we got engaged, where we got married. It’s kind of fitting that it’s also where our baby is going to be born.”

She tilts her head back to kiss him, ignoring Rosa’s complaints that they’re gross.

She thinks back to her wedding vows. Not everything is in our control, but as long as you’re with the right people you can handle anything. And you, Jake Peralta, are the right person for me. She can handle this with Jake by her side. She can bring their daughter into the world.

“OK... I’m ready.”

“That’s my girl,” Jake says proudly, shuffling into a better position to hold her hand and see the baby when she comes out.

They all disinfect their hands with Purrell from Amy’s purse and Rosa explains what’s going to happen and Jake jokes that he feels like Sandra Oh in Grey’s Anatomy.

Rosa rolls her eyes. “Christina was a heart surgeon, dumb dumb. You’re thinking of Addison. What?” She questions at their surprised expressions. “I like Grey’s Anatomy! It makes me feel things! I’m not totally heartless.”

Amy releases a string of expletives as another contraction starts.

“We’re going to start pushing on the next one,” Rosa instructs, forgetting her favourite medical drama.

Amy nods quickly.

Jake brushes fallen strands of hair away from her sweat-covered skin and takes her hand. “Squeeze as hard as you need to, babe.”

--

No amount of studying or listening to her mom’s stories could prepare her for the pain of pushing a baby out. It’s worse than the time her brother pushed her off the monkey bars when she was eight and she broke her arm, worse than the time she got shot in the line of duty, worse than the heartbreak of Jake being sentenced to 15 years in prison. It’s worse than anything she’s ever experienced and when it’s over she has so many questions for her mom, including why on Earth did she do this so many times?!

She’s also going to thank Jake for not complaining once and buy Rosa many drinks for her part in all this.

Having her colleague deliver her baby was definitely not part of the birth plan, but out of everyone they work with, she’s glad that it’s Rosa.

Rosa who’s been there for Jake since the Academy.

Rosa who has always had her back, too, who comforted her when Jake was in Florida, helped get her to her Sergeant’s exam on time and encouraged Jake to ask her out.

(And thank God she did).

--

Labor is exhausting.

It’s painful and emotional and long.

“You’re so close,” Jake cheers her on when she hits a wall.

“He’s right. I can see her head. One more push, Santiago.”

“I can’t-.”

“You can,” Rosa insists. “1,000 push ups.”

“OK,” she whispers. Rosa doesn’t just throw around 1,000 push ups willy nilly. It means something. And if Rosa is so confident that she can do this, then she can do it.

She pushes and pushes and eventually hears a baby’s cry.

It’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard.

When Rosa places her in Amy’s arms for immediate skin-to-skin, all four of them are openly weeping.

She’s the most perfect person she’s ever seen.

“I love you both so much,” Jake murmurs, kissing the top of Amy’s head. He leans down to kiss his daughter, too, marvelling over the fact that he gets to say my daughter now.

They cuddle for a while, quietly bickering over who she looks most like. They decide that she has Jake’s hair, nose and mouth and, when she opens her eyes for a second to see what all the fuss is about, he is thrilled to discover that she has the same beautiful eyes as her mom.

They wrap her up in Jake’s favourite blue hoodie to keep her warm and Rosa snaps their first official family portrait and sends it to their parents, Amy’s brothers and the Nine-Nine’s WhatsApp group. She reads out the messages of congratulations that fly in, making Jake and Amy both cry some more.

Finally she interrupts their family time to cut the cord, pulling out her pocket knife and lighter from her leather jacket.

Jake’s eyes go comically wide. “You’re going to use a knife?”

“Do you have any other suggestions?” She snaps.

He falls silent.

“Thought so.” She sterilises the blade (recently sharpened following Brad Leone’s tutorial from the BA Test Kitchen) with her lighter and carefully cuts the umbilical cord.

“Say thank you Tía Rosa,” Amy coos, stroking her daughter’s tiny hand.

“Tía?”

“Mm-hmm,” Amy hums with a tired smile. “We were going to ask you to be her godmother anyway, but I think you have more than earned that role now.”

“I’d be honoured,” she responds.

--

After another hour and a half stuck in the elevator, the lights come back on, the elevator doors open with a ping and they are suddenly faced with a crowd of concerned police officers, firefighters and paramedics, little Maya Peralta gracing the rest of the world in the most dramatic of fashion.

The firefighters spring into gear, holding the elevator doors shut while others help Amy into an awaiting wheelchair.

Jake hovers next to the paramedics as they check Maya’s vitals. Thankfully, everything is normal, they clean her up and replace Jake’s blood-stained hoodie with a warm blanket.

“She’s perfect,” the female paramedic tells him as she hands Maya back to her dad, confirming what he knew the second he laid eyes on her.

They then turn their attention to Amy, who is fine — more than fine, she’s the happiest she’s ever been — just a little sore. They decide to take them both into hospital as a precautionary measure since Maya is two weeks early (Santiago Style!), packing up their equipment while Jake and Amy introduce the Nine-Nine’s newest recruit to the rest of the squad.

Terry says something about little girls being the best, Hitchcock and Scully claim not to have known Amy was even pregnant and Holt’s stoic façade crumbles when Maya grips his finger with her entire hand.

Charles’ eyes are red and puffy like he’s been crying, but he’s uncharacteristically calm when Jake asks if he wants to hold her. He nods, of course, and is enamoured with her the moment he feels her weight in his arms.

This isn’t how she planned it —none of it is — she wanted the controlled hospital birth and the grandparents to meet the baby first and she really wanted to catch the perp from the coffee shop robbery, but Jake was right. It’s kind of perfect that she was born here, in the Nine-Nine, surrounded by their second family.

She meets her husband’s eye and smiles.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 2

(The idea that started it all)

(Master post)

_______________________________________________________________________

Alya could not believe her eyes. But as clear as day on her friend’s phone the facts were present. Marinette had 100% compatibility with Adrien Agreste.

“Girl... that is amazing.” Alya managed to say through her shock.

Marinette couldn't even form words, her face was as bright and red as fire. She felt like she would combust. Sure, she said that Adrien was her soulmate, and sure she has taken a quiz or two where she was matched with Adrien, but THIS?! This was a completely different feeling, it felt real.

Alya managed to pick up her jaw.

“Chloé would have a heart attack if she found out about this.” Alya spoke with a smirk.

That statement brought Marinette crashing back to earth.

“You can NOT tell Chloé! You can't tell anyone!” Marinette exclaimed in panic.

Alya looked at her confused.

“Why not? This is the perfect chance to stick it to that spoiled brat! Not to mention it will help show everyone else that you are a perfect match for Adrien.”

“What would Adrien say? What if he sees me talking about this, using it as some sort of leverage. That is something so Lila like. I can't do that!”

“I think you mean Chloé-like” Alya corrected

“No I didn't. The main point is it wouldn't be right to do that. What if Adrien doesn't take this seriously and seeing someone he considered his friend using it to keep other girls off of him. He would think I am some sort of possessive creeper.” Marinette explained.

Alya considered her friends opinion and was going to tell her that she was overthinking it, but she actually made a fair point, it does seem kind of gross to try doing something like this.

“That is true, not to mention Mr.Model is pretty popular. You mentioning your compatibility might cause his fan club to try and slay you, or get akumatized if you aren't careful.” Alya agreed.

“You mentioned earlier that each list is private, and that no one else can see it unless the person decides to show other. I should ask Adrien what he thinks about the whole thing... Tomorrow!” Marinette answered. “So please don't mention it to anyone, including Nino. At least until I talk to Adrien about it.”

“I promise I will wait for your okay on the matter. But You know you can just message Adrien through the app or just call him.” Alya pointed out with a teasing smile.

“I... I might turn to jelly if I do that now.” Marinette confessed.

Alya sighed with a soft smile. She loved her best friend with all of her quirks.

“Alright, though this might be your only chance to message him at 100% compatibility. The 10 questions from tomorrow might change things, after all, you can only go down from 100%.” Alya pointed out after giving her friend a hug.

“Ill take my chances.” Marinette answered.

Alya grabbed her stuff and decided to head back home. Marinette waved and made sure her friend left before letting everything completely hit her again.

“So perfect compatibility?” a floating ladybug themed creature asked innocently as she floated out of her hiding spot.

“Thats Right Tikki! Adrien! We are 100% compatible. I never thought it was possible, but here it is!” Marinette swooned. “I can picture it all now.”

“We talk at school, Adrien admits that once he saw that we were compatible, he realized he was in love with me the whole time. We start dating, then go steady after university. After which we get married and have three kids....”

“That is quite a reaction from one questionnaire. How do you know its legitimate? You always did say that those magazine quizzes were nothing but junk.” Tikki answered.

“They are Tikki, but this one has a lot more to it then colors determining what model you would date! This is something in depth, it just feels more real. I just know it in my heart that there is something to this.”

Tikki nuzzled Marinette’s face.

“Well I support you. Maybe this was just the thing you needed to go after Adrien. That thing is only a bunch of questions until you act on it.” Tikki encouraged.

“Thanks Tikki. I knew I could count on you.”

The red kwami smiled, Marinette was starting to sound like Chat noir with all the talk of soulmates and fated to be together. Tikki couldn't help but wonder how she would react if she knew she was 100% compatible with Chat noir.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Good evening my lady.” Chat noir purred.

He happily approached his red clad partner who was waiting for him on the rooftop of a rather tall building.

“Hello my kitty. How are you doing.” Ladybug answered with a soft smile as she moved closer to her cat partner.

“Quick question bugaboo. Have you heard of an app called Soulmate searcher?” Chat noir cooed as he took Ladybug’s hand in his.

“Why yes Chatton I have. Do you have something to tell me?” She inquired with an alluring smile.

“Why yes. I believe the app has helped me find you. I recently took the quiz and found out that I had 100% compatibility with someone. So of course it must be you.” Chat noir spoke as his head moved closer as if he was going in to kiss her. Until he sees she pulled away. He pauses. She let go of his hand and stepped back, her smile gone.

“My lady?”

“I never got 100% with anyone chat noir.” She took a step away from him.

“W-what?”

“I am sorry my cat prince, but even though I have started to fall for your rugged good looks and your beautiful heart, I can't be with a man that is clearly far more compatible with someone else. I wish you the best, but you broke my heart.

Ladybug seemed so much farther away then she was moments before.

“My lady! No it doesn't mean anything! Wait!” he said as he tripped forward. Ladybug going farther and farther away from him.

_______________________________________________________________________

Adrien found himself in the library of his school. He was seeing his close friend Marinette who was crying tears.

“Marinette, I am so sorry.”

Slap! 

He hardly felt it, most likely from the pain he already felt seeing her this way.

“Because of that stupid test. Luka turned me down. He said he couldn't be with someone who had more compatibility with another guy, as if me dating him would be cheating me out of a better match! I had spent Months gathering up the courage to ask him out. All of it gone to waste because you just HAD to score higher. If you were my friend, you would have never joined that stupid app.”

“Marinette please don't hate me. I had no idea. I will talk with Luka, I am sure I can...”

“You have done enough. I never want to see you again. I hate you! I wish I never met you!” Marinette stormed off. The blond model felt his heart break at his classmates words. He walked to try and get her, he paused as he noticed an akuma following behind her.

“Marinette! There is an akuma behind you!” 

He tried to reach out but his calls were on deaf ears. He tried to run to her but his leg were heavy and he couldn't reach her. It was like he was at a slow fixed speed and Marinette and the akuma were just out of reach.

The bookshelves around him shaking as books began raining down on him.

“Marinette! _______________________________________________________________________

Adrien shot up from his bed. He was sweating. He touched his face and there was no pain. Nightmares... those were not real at all.

He looked around, he heard plagg snoozing like a lawnmower.

“Oh good. it was all a dream.” He spoke to himself in relief. He fell back into his bed. His mind still thinking about his vivid nightmares. He hoped that those stayed nightmares, but he would know for sure tomorrow.

_______________________________________________________________________

The next day came quickly. Adrien and Marinette hardly slept. They grabbed their phones and saw that their profile was ready for their first set of new questions.

Adrien answered the first few as he was getting ready in the bathroom.

Marinette answered some of hers as she got her stuff together for school.

Marinette answering questions as she walked to school and Adrien answering as he got out of the car that his bodyguard drives him in. They got to the last questions at the same time. 

They stopped moving wherever they were as they waited for their profiles to update.

after a minute, the update finished.

Adrien noticed that Kagami had went up by 2% and was now at 81% compatibility.

Marinette noticed Luka has jumped to 82% after answering.

The two teens scrolled up to the number one spot on the list. Still as clear as yesterday. 100%

“So it didn't change.” They both commented out loud. They looked up from their phones to see the other across from them as they were just about to enter their homeroom class together.

Both teens quickly put their phones in their pockets, now looking right at one another.

“Hi HEY! Hello Adrien.” Marinette stumbled, her face was red and she felt like kicking herself for that greeting.

Adrien smiled nervously, his face also red. It felt so much more real now that he was looking at Marinette face to face.

“H-hey Marinette.” Adrien responded. “Doing something on your phone?”

“Phone? What Phone! I don't phone.” Marinette garbled. She wanted to die.

Adrien felt himself get more nervous. He could tell she was doing the same thing he was, she was answering questions on her phone for Soulmate searcher. Thats why the list updated so quickly and her picture on the list had a small green light on the right corner, which says it was updated.

“So, are you... do you play...” Adrien tried to get the words out. Why was he so suddenly nervous talking to Marinette. It feels like he trying to talk to Ladybug without his mask. He feels naked and vulnerable. “Soulmate searcher?”

Marinette’s eyes went wide.

“Yea, I do. Do you?” Marinette managed to answer without stammering.

“Yea... tried it out yesterday and...”

The morning bell rang, interrupting their conversation.

“Thats the bell, we should get inside before we get...”

Adrien caught her arm.

“Wait. Can I talk to you later? Please?” Adrien asked, his eyes showing a softness that made Marinette ever more so drawn to his emerald eyes.

“Sure Adrien. I love y to! I would love to talk.” Marinette responded, Adrien let go of her arm. He smiled softly. He was relieved that she wasn't mad.

“Great. Library? His mind flashed to the nightmare he had the night before. “I mean... locker room? Should be abandoned by Lunchtime.”

“O-Okay.” Marinette responded. She opened the door and they both walked into the classroom. Maybe they would be lucky and no one was even talking about that app.

_______________________________________________________________________

THERE I FINISHED part 2 (I am so happy you guy brought part 1 of this up so high) I really hope you guys like part 2.

If you want part 3, please let me know. I love hearing feedback and it feeds my impulsive need to write.

[purplesurveys]

1159

survey by -egocentricity-

Describe the last time you...

Went swimming: It was in Nasugbu with Angela, Sofie, and Gab nearly a couple of years ago. We wanted to go to a nearby beach before the semester started, so we planned the trip at the last minute and literally just right after we enrolled for our classes.

Went on a date: It was at BGC at this nice, romantic French restaurant. Then as we headed back to the car we spotted a jazz bar that had a live band performing, so we took a detour there to have drinks and nachos.

Were hurt by someone you love: My mom says a lot of hurtful things all the time I’ve stopped keeping track of them and letting them affect me too much, but I’m sure she’s done it recently.

Did something nice for yourself: I got myself a night lamp to improve the ambience in my room and make it feel even more homey. The lamp I had before it was just something I borrowed from my parents and it had white light, so it didn’t feel the most calming. The one I have right now emits this soft yellow shade that makes me feel infinitely more relaxed.

Did something nice for someone else: I ordered KFC at like 1 AM last Wednesday because I was feeling hungry and there was nothing at home that could meet my cravings, and aside from getting orders for my parents I also got a Zinger for my delivery driver as a way to thank him and lift his spirits for working that late into the night.

Were injured: I always sport some sort of scratch or gash somewhere on my body these days from playing with Cooper. This morning I got a new wound on one of my knuckles since he was pulling on his leash way too hard when I was walking him.

Went to the hospital: I had to take blood and urine tests last May to figure out what was wrong with me since I had been sick for a week by that point. That was also during the peak of the pandemic, so there was a lot of anxiety about me catching Covid. It turned out to be a UTI, and even though that technically sucks the whole family was relieved it wasn’t Covid.

Understood something that previously confused you: I had my dad explain to me how buying and bidding for houses works. Hahaha I am sooooo not equipped to be a fully-functioning adult.

Faked sick to get out of going to class: I don’t think I ever did this. If I had wanted to skip class, I just skipped it.

Hung out with your friends: I went to Perfy’s with 7 friends shortly before it shut down for good as a result of the pandemic. We had some beer and bar chow, and to be completely frank it felt quite nice to have that one night where things felt normal again, as ignorant as it was. We vaped until we were dizzy and some of them smoked too much that the smell ended up clinging to me and my clothes, but luckily I got home when my whole family was already in their rooms so no one was able to smell me.

Met someone new: There’s this girl who recently got onboarded to one of our client brands and we started working with her about a week or two ago. She’s honestly been a bit over the place, but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt because she’s fairly new at a particularly hectic time in her workplace. My first impression of her was that she gave such a strong UP vibe so I looked her up on Facebook, and it turns out we went to the same college and the same high school.

Did something that you were afraid to do: A couple of months ago I had a one-on-one video call organized by the CEO of my employer so that she could get to know me better. She was super nice and listened attentively to my answers to all her questions, but it was easy to tell she wanted to see what I could bring to the table and how well I could mesh with the team especially since I’ve never met her and everyone else in person, so I made sure my social game was maxed out for those 15 minutes haha.

Did something you promised you would never do: I vaped literally half an hour ago. I never expected to form a habit out of it especially after being vehemently against any form of smoking for most of my life. Not particularly proud of it but then again I’m here for a good time and not a long time lmao.

Regretted something: Lazada had this huge app-wide sale last week and their Hydro Flasks were like ₱600 cheaper, but I didn’t buy it because I was feeling stingy that day haha. Now the products are back to their normal price and they’ll probably never get to be that cheap again :( There’s another sale happening tomorrow but the discounts aren’t as big, but I’ll probably place an order this time.

Went shopping: I went to H&M last January to get Andi a late Christmas present. I asked Leigh what they would appreciate as a gift, and she told me they’d wanted to start experimenting with feminine clothes so I got them a nice black skirt and this really elegant dress (that I honestly wanted for myself). I heard they cried once they opened the paper bag, and making people cry with the gifts you get them will always be one of the best feelings ever haha.

Asked someone out/were asked out: Idk, it was 5 years ago and nothing I want to remember anymore.

Broke up with someone: I’ve never broken up with someone.

Had someone break up with you: It was terrible and the stuff of all my nightmares combined, and it happened in the middle of an already-shitty month to boot so I had little hope for myself to come out of it alive. I had everything planned and ironed out and all that was left was for me to leave. 

It’s been 7 months and I’ve never felt emotionally and mentally better and healthier.

Were heartbroken: I follow this animal rescue NGO on Facebook and they regularly post about dogs who’ve lived through awful situations and need urgent care and forever homes to live in. Fortunately the page has a wide reach and regularly gets support, and I try to donate to their bank account as often as I can.

You were angry with someone: Haven’t directed my anger towards anyone in a while.

You felt "in love" with someone: It was during the time I was still reeling over the breakup and was caught in an endless loop of still being in love with them and forcing myself to finally detach.

You wanted something unrealistic: I was at the rooftop this morning and I could feel the temperature getting warmer every hour, and when I finally couldn’t tolerate the heat and was forced to go back indoors I felt super annoyed because all I want is to live somewhere with a chilly climate all-year round hahaha UGH

You made someone angry: It was when I spilled a tiny drop of soup onto the dining table and my mom had a complete meltdown about it. After 89457843957 years of her getting mad at First World Problems I wasn’t intimidated by her anymore, but it still irked me at how something so little can piss her off so I just decided not to speak a word for the rest of the night.

You made someone's day: I hope I made my delivery driver’s night when I got him his burger as a surprise. I hold so much respect and appreciation for them considering they’ve been working very hard to get people’s goods to their doorsteps in the midst of a global pandemic.

Tried something new: When I bought my lamp it was the first time I got something to decorate my room. I usually spend all my money on food, so that was a nice change to try out.

Tried your best: I always try my best at work and to make each day more improved than the last.

Didn't try at all: A couple of nights ago I asked my dad to light up my scented candle and he challenged me to try lighting up a matchstick by myself for once. I was all primed and ready to go, but backed out at the last second :(( I told him there was a big chance I could freak out, drop the lit matchstick. and set something in the dining room (where we were) on fire, and that’s when he gave up and just lit it up himself hahaha

Got nothing for your efforts: I’d gladly refer you to my big waste of a 6-year relationship.

Had a serious talk with someone: I always have deep conversations with Andi and they’ve been about various topics over the last few months.

Told someone how you really feel: It was when Bea scheduled a quick one-on-one catch-up call with me to check up on how I was doing with work and if I was doing okay with the everyday craziness of it all. But I didn’t say anything grave; I just told her I honestly like the work we do and that it’s nice that it keeps me excited everyday, so there’s little to complain about.

Hid what you felt from someone: One of my co-workers, Denise, is honestly a little challenging to work with. I always have to pick up after her and remind her of stuff we need to do together, and even Bea has let a few comments slide between us about how difficult she can be. But considering I’m a lot newer than her and we’ve never met each other I’ve stayed quiet for now.

Took something that didn't belong to you: I got the matchbox from my parents’ room to ask one of them to light up the aforementioned scented candle I have.

Borrowed something from someone: I borrowed one of my sister’s cords the other evening to charge my vape pen.

Lost a game: This was when my orgmates and I played a couple Jeopardy games over Zoom about a month ago and I lost to Robin.

Won a game: Not sure, I don’t really play a lot of games.

Told someone you love him/her: Jo, after she shared that she tested positive for Covid.

Went on vacation: It’s been a year and a half and the world has changed a lot since then, but my family and I went to Tagaytay and Cavite for a quick weekend getaway; it was Tagaytay on Saturday then we drove to another hotel in Cavite the next day. We played Heads Up, ate Jelly Belly jellybeans, had a lot of nice food, took some walks, but then I also had to work on a Powerpoint in between because I had a presentation that was due that Monday lol.

Went on a roadtrip: Last January we drove to Tagaytay (again) for my dad’s 50th birthday. Before heading to our accommodation we had brunch at La Creperie where we happened to be seated beside Larry Gadon – bleck – and his wife. Then we headed to the condo unit where we stayed the night at, ordered a samgyupsal set, and I watched GMM’s Let’s Talk About That into the night until I fell asleep.

Flew on a plane: That would be over two years ago and it was during our vacation to Bicol. That also marks the last time I ever spoke a word to my brother, because on our way home my family got into a heated argument and he ended up slapping me in the face. I don’t tolerate physical acts of violence, and especially not from someone younger than me, so I was more than glad to cut ties with him moving forward.

Were annoyed with a family member: My mom is politically incorrect 24/7, and it grinds my gears 24/7.

Took something too far: Idk, maybe cutting off ties with Gab. A part of me wanted to reconnect at some point, once I’ve healed; but I’ve reached a point in my life where that doesn’t seem so necessary anymore. Life just works funnily sometimes, I guess. I haven’t completely cut her off; we’re still mutuals on Twitter (though she also never uses it so it barely counts), and also still Facebook friends (though I’ve unfollowed her and I’ve also blacklisted her from seeing my posts – thank god for that feature), so now it’s really just a matter of pressing some buttons and finally disconnecting for good.

Gave up too soon: I wanted to learn riding a bike during the early days of the pandemic last year, but I gave up after like two days of being unsuccessful.

Listened to a band you had not heard before: I started exploring some of BTS’ music earlier this week after weeks of just knowing Dynamite.

Judged someone: Some of the bloggers that I regularly correspond with for work, and who’ve recently added me on Facebook, have opinions I don’t necessarily agree with.

Asked a "stupid question": I ask a lot of newbie questions at work that maybe some people would consider dumb, but I’d rather get answers to do my work correctly than take guesses and end up doing the wrong thing.

Got "a stupid answer": Not sure.

Took a picture of something/someone: I recently took a photo of my work desk setup so I could show off my new pretty lamp, hahaha.

Told a lie: I told my mom my Hydro Flask is still with Angela and that I should be getting it soon, but I really lost it a few years ago and would have to buy a new one.

Told the truth: Idk I tell the truth all the time.

[thebachelordiaries]

Clare seeks HIMBO: ‘The Bachelorette’ cast first impressions

The Covid-19 pandemic has been rough for the entire world, but Bachelor Nation faced some dark days too. Going eight months without a single new episode from The Bachelor franchise is something I would really like to not relive.

Fortunately, those dark days are over. Clare’s season has me sucked back in. 

The quality of this image is atrocious.

Most of these men—presuming they followed CDC’s social distancing guidelines— haven’t seen a woman in months, are touch deprived, possibly unemployed and contemplating moving back to their hometown while stalking the housing market on Zillow. Everyone’s desperate. That makes for some pretty good TV.

This season features men ranging from ages 26 to 41. We’ve got a boy band manager, a grooming specialist, several men who look like they masturbate in front of full length mirrors and even more who probably want me to join their MLM pyramid scheme. 

I’ve never been more ready to roast a bunch of men who have nightmares about going bald. It’s all I’ve wanted to do since March.

Let’s go:

AJ, 28, Software sales

AJ is the kind of guy who writes “Looking for the Pam to my Jim <3″ on his Bumble profile. His bio is generic and probably not reflective of who he is as a person. If I were Clare I’d swipe left.

Ben, 29, Army ranger veteran

“Ben's favorite indulgence is an ice bath.“ Well then.

Alexa, play “Run” by AWOLNATION.

Bennett, 36, Wealth management consultant

Bennett’s profile is the biggest red flag I’ve ever seen. This man says he is the total package but hasn’t always been "this successful and good looking.” But wait, there’s more: “According to Bennett, his high school girlfriend is the only girl he's ever had to work for.“

Can someone tell me what NYC neighborhood he lives in so I can blacklist it?

Blake M1, 31, Male grooming specialist

Blake’s just another stereotypical “29th round draft pick who sat on the bench of the practice team before getting cut, but claims he left the sport due to an injury on his own accord.” 

Blake M2, 29, Wildlife manager

This Blake is an outdoorsy Canadian who seems pretty genuine and cool. Unfortunately, he has the face of someone who’d get sent home on night one. I hope I’m wrong.

Brandon, 28, Real Estate Agent

Just another boring hot person. Nothing to see here.

Brendan, 30, Commercial roofer

Brandan, not to be confused for Brandon, “loves some good true crime, working out and hanging out with his friends.” I can’t even make fun of this man. We have the exact same interests. 

Chasen, 31, IT account executive

The Winklevoss twins are actually triplets and Chasen is their long lost brother. But more seriously, have you ever seen someone who looks more like their name than this man?

Chris, 27, Landscape design salesman

“Chris hopes to find a woman who is sharp and witty but also easygoing.” Chris, sweetheart, have you met Clare? Easygoing...? There’s still time back out of this before it’s too late.

Dale, 31, Former pro football wide receiver

Dale aggressively screams “Bachelor material.” I’d say he’s auditioning for that role but Matt James already scooped it up. Better luck next year, Daley.

Demar, 26, Spin cycling instructor

Demar is a “very popular spin instructor in Scottsdale and says he can get on that bike and spin to any beat thrown his way.” Imagine how many trophy wives Demar has f*cked? 

Eazy, 29, Sports marketing agent

Eazy is very similar to Dale on paper. Except his name is Eazy so he automatically loses that battle.

Ed, 33, Health care salesman

“Ed is looking to find a woman who has natural beauty without looking overly fake.” Ed deserves to die alone.

Garin, 34, Professor of Journalism

Garin’s bio is giving me hubby material vibes. And maybe a little bit of a “gets eliminated on night one” vibe too.

Ivan, 28, Aeronautical Engineer

Ivan, what are you doing here? We’re in a recession. Please go back to your normal job before it’s too late. 

Jason, 31, Former pro football linemen

“He is a former NFL offensive lineman who, after suffering too many concussions on the field, decided to prioritize his health and change the direction of his life.” A big, brawny HIMBO with CTE? I feel like he’s Clare’s type.

Jay, 29, Fitness director

There are too many things about Jay that I dislike and I’m trying to keep this brief. Jay says “it's time to take a break from worrying about others and focus on himself instead.” I am willing to bet money that this man has never made a woman c*m.

Jeremy, 40, Banker

Jeremy is the oldest contestant ever to come on "The Bachelorette,” which may seem like a monuments accomplishment but he’s literally only one year older than Clare. 

He also “hates Instagram models, both male and female,” so he should have a lot of fun here.

Joe, 36, Anesthesiologist

Before I even saw his profession and location, I thought Joe looked like a doctor I’d find on a NYC dating app...and...uh...I probably did see him on there now that I think about it.

Anyway, this man has apparently been through seven stages of hell while on the front lines fighting Covid-19 in NYC so I definitely think he deserves to find love. Someone marry him please.

Jordan C, 26, Software account executive

I can already tell Jordan is going to get the “I’m young but mature” edit which means he’s probably not going to be good TV.

Too bad someone a tad younger (like Tayshia) wasn’t the Bachelorette. I feel like they’d make a cute couple.

Jordan M., 30, Cyber security engineer

I was going to say something mean but Jordan’s into cyber security and I don’t want my blog to be deactivated, so never mind. Cast photos are historically bad so I’m sure he looks much better in real life.

Kenny, 39, Boy band manager

I could go for the obvious drags regarding this man’s profession (or his sh*tty chest tattoo, or his suspiciously boyish face relative to his age), but I like to think I’m more clever than that. 

I’d like to take this time to talk about men, who are obviously difficult people, who rant and rave about how they want an “easygoing” woman. Look into the mirror, bud. No, not the one you use to jerk off to your reflection; the mirror that looks into your soul. Out of respect for the rest of humankind, have some self-awareness. Or maybe just see a therapist.

Mike, 38, Digital media advisor

Mike is seemingly a decent catch, but I can’t help but wonder why he’s still single or how he never (accidentally or on purpose) impregnated a woman in his 38 years of life. 

And now that I’m thinking about it, do any of these men have children? I have yet to see any mention of it in their bios. But there are eight men left to review, so there’s still time.

Page, 37, Chef

I spoke too soon. Page is a father! He also hates football! I’m a fan of this man. I was initially going to drag him for his name and say that Page is not a real name. PAIGE is a real name. PAGE is a piece of paper. I’m allowed to say this because we have the same name except mine is spelled the correct way. Based on my (mostly positive) review of his cast bio, I have decided not to hold his name against him.

Riley, 30, Long Island City

Riley, once married with children, would like to go on a family vacation that consists of touring every single MLB stadium in the country. If i were his wife, I would simply never give this man children.

Robby, 30, Insurance broker

No more Robbys on The Bachelorette. Society has evolved past its need for more Robbys.

This Robby described his dream woman as: “Incredibly athletic and able to throw back a few beers with him after a day of hiking. She has a sweet personality and won't mind that he spends his Sundays on the golf course.”

Someone please give this man a sex doll. He just wants a hole.

Tyler C., 27, Lawyer

“Tyler C. is a badass lawyer who says he is a businessman by day and a cowboy by night.” How does that make him a lawyer? Does this mean he’s into cosplay? I’m confused.

Tyler S., 36, Music manager

Tyler makes an honorable living off riding his brother’s dick success as a country singer. “He just LOVES his job!” Uh yeah, I would too if I had a low-show, high-paying job off the merits of nepotism. It’s the American dream.

Yosef, 30, Medical device salesman

Another dad! He’s totally going to pull the “girl dad” narrative. That saying is kind of sexist to me but the masses generally eat it up, so I’m fairly confident Yosef will get the "sweet guy” edit he’s looking for.

Zac C., 36, Addiction specialist

“He loves Philadelphia sports and dreams of sharing a Philly Cheesesteak with his future wife while watching the Eagles win a Super Bowl.” This man is so South Jersey it hurts. 

On a more serious note, I don’t think anyone in recent history has spoken openly about their personal struggle with addiction on this show, so I hope Zac gets a chance to tell his story. 

Zach J., 37, Cleaning service owner

Zach is seemingly obsessed with Clare already and hopes to introduce her to his mom as his fiancée. Since Zach watched Clare on Juan Pablo’s season, you’d think he’d know that Clare would first meet his mom during the final four hometown dates. Assuming he makes it that far. My prediction is that he won’t.

Final thoughts

After eight long months Bachelor Mondays are back!!!

Uhh....wait.

Actually, we now have the less-exciting Bachelor Tuesdays. Yeah, it definitely doesn’t have the same ring to it. But I’ll take anything at this point.

Here are my final predictions:

First impression rose: Dale. It just looks like he can turn on the bullsh*t charm

Final rose: Jason. Clare wants a HIMBO I just know it.

Bachelor: nobody (Matt James is The Bachelor)

Most likely to get engaged on Bachelor in Paradise: Blake M2

Most likely to get canceled online: Bennett

Most likely to get sent home night one but deserve better: Chris

Who are your favorite men cast on this season?